My heart is a dungeon
Found in my chest.
If you look closely,
You will surely find prisoners.
My heart is a seal
Locked with different locks.
If you want to get into it,
You must pass through a lot of traps.
Styles Goodluck
Copyright©styles goodluck
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Hi,
I'm a fan of short and to the
point. You could work on this
one. First verse, last line loses
the rhythm;
you will surely find prisoners
easy fix, remove "surely"
Last verse the same and I'd
find a different word for the
"locked"
thank you for posting
Hello, thanks for the
Hello, thanks for the
Hello, thanks for the correction
styles
I would suggest expanding the thought of verse one and two a bit more the work feels unfinished
also may I suggest a more interesting and creative title as this is the first thing the reader sees .It invites the reader to the first line which you want to be strong so it pulls them into the poem
Hi there,
Hi there,
Thanks! I'll look into that.