raj
Feb 05, 2011

Birds View

I love to be an early bird
to greet your eyes each dawn
gliding on our wings
in sunshine
homing to our nest
each night..

I love to spread my wings for you
wishing our dreams come true
night after night
our love takes flight
and soon we are
three from two

Now I become the keeper of our nest
with our loved one under your breast
hoping not
it falls and wails
when our nest and tree
are felled

and with them
our sanctuary..

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Somewhere in the world, IND

More from this author

Comments

S

almost? 2 poems in 1 lol.I seldom offer critique on humorous writes unless for obvious mistakes of which I see none here. I'm still trying to picture a person gliding on another's eyes wings ...................scribbler

R

you are most welcome to critique on this one or for that matter on anyone....and to pint out the errors...

R

as i mentioned to Stan...i welcome all critique ..and take them in my stride ...

much love..

R

so good to see you visit this page ....thank you for your comment which sums up niely the essence of what i have tried to convey ...i plan to tweak it up a little ...

warm regards..

loved

loved

14 years 2 months ago

ur so lucky

the birdie from florence ,
ex-london
viisted thee
and promised
that u would become ,
as u say three ,
how search me
perhaps,
you may ask that birdie..

R

good to know you liked the re-structuring and the little tweaks i have given to this write...

much love...