at first a small bump underneath the chin
take a pill to drawn out my friend
then a volcanic splash that nearly kicks my ass
Black head smiles back at the scene
Whiter head approaches fine
Sep 13, 2019
Black Head Verses White Head Composition
About This Poem
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
So
I am not certain what you want to say here. If it's just biological, okay. If it's something else, I am not seeing it.
A couple of things:
1) Capitalization - It's inconsistent and, as such, I am not understanding why the last two lines are capitalized and nothing else is
2) Punctuation - while I am not a fan of a lack of punctuation, you are consistent here. That matters