What will I write?
if not for those unpretty lullabies
brewed by our fathers,
the scotch we all sipped from.
Then what will i write
if not mosquitoes, homelessness, corruption hmnnnnnnnn.
Maybe!
write about love how?
About beautiful trees and how birds sing
but still how?
for we see them as stupidity
since our neck is stiffed to the bush
and glued to burdensome life
Review Request Direction:
How was my language use?
Is the internal logic consistent?
How does this theme appeal to you?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
What did you think of my title?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Our neck stiffened
That's why we see things deferent the way we see them, but maybe you should write anything that comes your mind.
Until you allow life to past through you you will never understand life.
Our neck stiffened
That's why we see things deferent the way we see them, but maybe you should write anything that comes your mind.
Until you allow life to past through you you will never understand life.
Our neck stiffened
That's why we see things deferent the way we see them, but maybe you should write anything that comes your mind.
Until you allow life to past through you you will never understand life.
Our neck stiffened
That's why we see things deferent the way we see them, but maybe you should write anything that comes your mind.
Until you allow life to past through you you will never understand life.
Our neck stiffened
That's why we see things deferent the way we see them, but maybe you should write anything that comes your mind.
Until you allow life to past through you you will never understand life.
Our neck stiffened
That's why we see things deferent the way we see them, but maybe you should write anything that comes your mind.
Until you allow life to past through you you will never understand life.
Our neck stiffened
That's why we see things deferent the way we see them, but maybe you should write anything that comes your mind.
Until you allow life to past through you you will never understand life.
Our neck stiffened
That's why we see things deferent the way we see them, but maybe you should write anything that comes your mind.
Until you allow life to past through you you will never understand life.