My thoughts are my thoughts
or am I dreaming
are these my thoughts
or yours
I don't know still
does our mind ever read
other's thoughts
I don't know
but do not instil
yet my thoughts resound
and
rebound
the voice of many
are these thoughts
of any use to any
but without these
one can't convey
what's hidden
beneath the surf of stress
the mind's domain
but one must be re- assured
that thoughts alone live down
memory’s lane
neither mine
nor yours
but they're encased
in digital form
to be read millennia hence
by newer generations thence
who will visit thought museums
which tell of days to come.
Comments
Very lovely ideas and poem
I think we all imagine our minds can connect in some ways, and certainly art is our way to try. many things really work so nicely like this striking image
one can't convey
what's hidden
beneath the surf of stress
the mind's domain
I would drop the word "only" in the first stanza.
I'm good to the last word. I get what you're trying to say, but "whence" as an end doesn't work,it is forced with "guess" it is archaic and used awkwardly. So many options to change it,,like end it as a couplet...example
to be read millennia hence
by newer generations thence
who visit thought museums
which tell of days to come.
I so like the language. It's perfect. My own personal aesthetic does not like "thee" and "ye" in poems written in the 21st century, especially if the rest of the language is vernacular. Here is a smooth ride of words, nicely dressed up for the occasion.
Damn...
Lovedly, you constantly surprise me! Well, not constantly, but very often. Every now and then, you remind me that you think deep thoughts! Nice work! I agree whole heartedly with Eumoplus, those changes will make the difference. ~ Geezer.
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thaks to both
now on neo
my only lovedly
mentors
shall review Eumo