themoonman
themoonman
Mar 13, 2019

Dialing for Titles ...

The last say
over the next hill

Love,
or the magnolia's song?
Pheylethyltomine
another addiction or
only for silly me

here in the museum on the moon
where suicide is free
on lost youth and face time
and comments and poetry
dictate our state of growth

Alvioli and gum
and Pain Lessons
so immense
flagging the cutback
of my fumes

About This Poem

Last Few Words: This was just using the titles on the "track all site activity" page 1 I can unplublish at any time in case there is someone that doesn't like it. It's something we use to do.

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: South Carolina, United States, USA

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Comments

themoonman

Yes, it is almost the same thing, it struck me
to delve. Glad you are here man, your help is
always genuine.

Eumolpus

I’m not sure what you are trying to say or convey. I love the 3rd stanza - the idea of “museum of the moon” is great and the idea of poetry where suicide and poetry are free. Not sure about face time (Facetime?) or just a pun which does not work as a pun here for me.
But other wise I can’t put it all together- the addictive drugs, the titles, my “fumes”...I’m lost.
As you know I like most of your work...so I feel it’s ok to tell it as I feel.

themoonman

It's an exercise we use to give to
one another back in the day ... take
a page of the "track all activity" and
try to make a coherent poem using the
titles to other poems (if you read them
and offer more it is a good thing) ...

just something I thought would be fun

Cloudthings

back at us... yes? I feel a wee bit flattered there are couple of mine (though it's Phenyethylamine, the "love hormone")... Maybe I shouldn't be flattered though, since the rest seems a bit sad. I think the stanza I like the most is the one that maybe doesn't include refs to other writers though (is that right?).

here in the museum on the moon
where suicide is free
on lost youth and face time
and comments and poetry
dictate our state of growth

I find quite a personal message or 2 in this section, & feel I could sink my teeth into it..... Or were you just checking that we actually do reads your work? Either way, glad I found this Moonman. I like what you have done. So glad to find you still here after all these years... Was it you that had the raccoon in the corner of your house at the top of the curtains? Funny how some thing stick with you... seems pretty random, but there you are xx

themoonman

Those are all titles in the order
of appearance ... but sometimes
it works, try it,

Geezer

I thought that it was a fun thing that did make some sense in places. It is certainly no more out of sync or discombobulated than some of the poetry I have seen from some people here. Thanks for the reminder that some things should be done, just for FUN! ~ Gee.
P.S. I thought the title was great!

.

Eumolpus

I just viewed the poem from an outside objective point of view, not connecting it with other poems on the site, so obviously I couldn’t find a thread...perhaps preamble with a fast intro to advise the reader of the devise. But glad there was a reason for the madness