zebra
zebra
Mar 09, 2019

Zodiac Carousel

the stars quiver
brain a husk of puddled amyloid plaque
like grey powder edge
blossoming a slow disaster
from dizzied star chandlers

voice winged souls harmonize
in a citadel of nothing

the revelation of no - thing
at all

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: Florance MA USA

Favorite Poets: Plath

More from this author

Comments

zebra

zebra

6 years 1 month ago

Welcome welcome welcome to Neopoet !!!
Thank you for your thoughtful and very kind comments ...very appreciated ;)
I hope you enjoy posting and find value and pleasure in your interactions with our menagerie here

Warm Regards Z

lovedly

is much more than what a normal eye can see
It has SCIENTIFIC meaning
some day you will see
when Lovedly reveals

you have your own vision undoubtedly
that's why you have stopped reading me
do as you so please
ny rgds won't cease

Geezer

there are people here, that will take your words to heart and love you like the lost brother you are! I get it! Where to find peace? ~ Geezer.
.

zebra

zebra

6 years 1 month ago

Yes Ginsburg I know it well
Our 60s generation It was a brilliant time and I always felt Allan was its spear head
Damn why didn't I think of those lines ;)