Walking the Plank

I stand here
Naked
wriggling, slightly
in the song of
your scrutiny

and
suddenly
there's glorious
mutiny
inside of me

I begin
to believe
I Am Beauty

About This Poem

Last Few Words: think this one might need some work, for one, I'm unsure of the title. any suggestions gratefully recieved :) xxx

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: GBR

Comments

HI Rosina :) 'Passionate

HI Rosina :) 'Passionate Exposure' eh? interesting alternative title.. I think 'Walking the Plank' has grown on me slightly, I like it's ambiguity :) So happy you enjoyed the poem and you're so right, Love indeed conquers all :) much love Beki xxx

I keep,

I keep thinking that wriggling slightly does not work, then i read it again and i think it does. When i think it works it's perfect, so probably that's why it's so good. Great poem i hope i've made myself clear. Regards Roscoe...

crystal :) I thought a lot,

crystal :) I thought a lot, well a bit, over that line myself, guess it's a wriggly one :) it's very me but perhaps not very poetic, if that makes sense? So happy you liked the poem and it wriggled enough to warrant another read :) much love Beki xxx

Lovely Shirl, thank you :) I

Lovely Shirl, thank you :) I believe a lot more than I used to. As I said above the title has grown on me, it seemed a rather whimsical choice at the time, but I too like it's ambiguity and it feels right with mutiny too. Loving your hat btw :) much love Beki xxx

Beki

I would have used trembling instead of wriggling. Trembling has a connotation of doubt, anticipation and implied fear to it, that I think would go well with this piece.
I like the ending very very much.

Hi Jim, always good to see

Hi Jim, always good to see you :) thank you for your suggestion, good to think a bit more on that line and consider what I was trying to convey :) I think I was hoping to get across a feeling of self concious awkwardness rather than fear or doubt, does wriggling work at doing that do you think? Glad you like the ending, tis a wonderful place to have arrived :) much love Beki xxx