Your eyes
your vision
your shyness
okay coyness
one I may see
a face full of smiles
that gives me
an immense glee
then upon your eyebrows
plant a kiss before I flee
as you shower a basket full
of blush
as you crush for me
give me an extraordinary smile
that I can secretly hide
within the inner folds
of all I sincerely desire
caged in my heart's
special corner for ever
just lend me the love
that you upon millions shower
O Lord of heavens who promotes
all love and inner volcanic fire
for those who love your form entire
but not only in dreams at night
they with exhilaration of happiness
also perspire
as you show your inner self
only to those
who you alone admire
Lend me your form
for just a moment
it's just my wish
my intensely burning desire
Comments
A very good,
A very good and imaginative poem, thoroughly enjoyed this. Regards Roscoe..
Thank you Roscoe
I was awaiting such a gesture
glad you enjoyed it
'tis my pleasure
what an interesting theme
your poem has that deep emotion of Hopkins, pleading to know the face of divinity, or George Harrison's "My Sweet Lord" .
Although my personal feeling is like the scribble on the wall at Auschwitz, "if there is a god he will have to beg his forgiveness from me", but I do respect others to whom faith is an urgent need. Your desire for personification is sincere, (if not a bit pagan, which is fine by me!). I hope you find what you seek, or as Rumi put it, "What you seek is seeking you."
The only line I would very much consider is " as you flush for me". despite the many possible meanings, common language leads us to the bathroom with the word "flush" and it is a distraction.
..
thanks for the beautiful comparison Eumolpus
Thanks
I feel yor feelings
shall reconsider the elemental ''flush''
Just returned from abroad
shall when I recover from tiredness
Sir NEOPLUS
Eumoplus
I have read RUMI today, as you did mention and edited the poem. Hope it meets the parallel bars
now
is it a GEM let me ask jess