I wonder what mood
has the rain!
Does it feel happy
To wash mother
nature's pain?
Does it feel sad
And fall as a sign
of complaint!
Or maybe it just goes
Mad because of
Man's insanity?
I wonder
Dec 06, 2018
Catching The Mood of The Rain
About This Poem
Review Request Direction: How does this theme appeal to you?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
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Your poem
Good idea to so animate the rain! Last stanza is problematic for me;
Or maybe it just goes
Mad because of
humanity's insane?
the syntax...correct would be "humanity's insanity" but that doesn't sound good. Then there's the problem for mad vs insane...colloquially they are both the same.
There are so many ways to say what it is obvious what you are trying to say, I would play with it bit more, maybe by describing the madness, with images, it could be so illustrated and not so directly presented.
Mark
highly appreciate your feedback. Hope it reads better after the edit.
Yes indeed
the basic syntax now fits better. A short poem, but power packed!
(Sorry about the multiple posts, not sure how that happened.)
Hello Mark
Thank you for taking the time Mark to comment and for the suggestion.
Much appreciated.
Hi Rula
good poem to imagine nature's mood..
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Dear raj
My pleasure. I'm pleased to know you like it.
Thank you.
Mark
Appreciate the approval.
Rula
being a poem based on imagination I feel "I wonder" is a good ending...it could also be
I wonder
while I wander
in the clouds..
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Raj
I see your imagination is even works better. That's a lovely ending indeed.
Thank you
As a newcomer this is
As a newcomer this is probably a belated comment, but I love the theme of rain and mood, since they go together so well. My mood has seldom if ever not been affected by the rain, as well as by the wind. But enough about my mood! What is the mood of the rain?! Now I'll wonder and probably write poems about it! Thank you!
Dear Rula
My father once told me the rain exists to purify the earth and her atmosphere as well as the obvious function of sustaining the soil and every creature that moves over the face of the earth and dwells in the sea. Your ideas are thought provoking and endearing regards John