lovedly
lovedly
Nov 28, 2018

I Walk as an Image

Re-REVISED VERSION COURTESY STAN LEADER and Mark of Neopoet

I Walk as an Image
on the surface of the ocean
as did the Lord once
but
I am just an imagery
of a candle light
burnt by the Sun
cooled by the Moon
all day and night

all glare at me walking
but none wants to speak
a ghost am I
or just an illusion
can anyone knowledgeable
tell me
I beseech

I continue strolling on the surf
just across the beach
within your reach

come some one rescue me
if you want to read
more poetry of Neo's
Lovedly

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: UNIVERSE...ETERNITY C/O ME, ROU

Favorite Poets: All across the Internet whom I read

More from this author

Comments

S

I have become lazy now that I can copy and paste lol. So I'll just post your poem with a few changes and let you decide if you like them or not.
I Walk as an Image
at the surface of the ocean
as did the Lord once
but
I am a mere image
of candle light
burnt by the Sun
cooled by the Moon
all day into the night

all see me walking
but none speak with me
a ghost am I
perhaps just an illusion
can anyone knowledgeable
tell me
I beseech

I continue
strolling on the surf
just across the beach
within your reach

come someone rescue me
if you want to read
more of Loverme's
poetry

lovedly

after a long time you have come
o man
shall amend after some more read it
And of course all with you shall agree
So I will change it
thanks rgds
loverme

R

raj

6 years 5 months ago

I was drawn by the title of the poem and liked the first stanza which is a poem by itself...
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