yes I have a lesson for my little brother
when you are my age your father is not gonna be with you mother,
and you need to know that this is not on you
its okay buddy that is how I felt too.
Oct 24, 2018
DEVORCE
About This Poem
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Hey Scooby...
Sounds like you are trying to comfort a little friend [someone you think of as a brother.]
It seems as though you have some experience and for that, I'm sorry. I know how it feels, and although it was many years ago, I still remember that I wondered if this is really how it is? Not like on TV. On TV, it was like Leave it to Beaver and Andy Griffith Show and... well... The Cosby's. This piece is simple and unsophisticated, but full of emotion. ~ Geezer.
.
a bit of edit
Divorce etc
will make this poetry
a Western normal History
Just see
where cultures are as diverse
as desert and sea
what can kids expect from
poppy and mostly
ultramodern mommies