Come my love
fear not the ailing one
come lie on my shoulders
but just for one more time
let’s cuddle
the waterfalls have now gone dry
‘tis been years passed shy
now as the end approaches
why be wry
lets within each other lie
simply just try
Such another moment
may not come again
then why would you want to ever
lament
our love we did not finally cement
come upon my cheeks
plant a kiss
the last one may be
for a life which just gradually ebbs away
can we recall at all at our free will
come let me embrace you finally
the heavens alone are witness
I loved only thee
why now distance yourself from me
let me die with glee
as you are still besides me
Comments
True love,
True love as we grow old, perhaps we grow to familiar and find there is no more mystery. Regards Roscoe...
kindness regards thanks
Roscoe
am glad you know
Hi Lovedly
Hi Lovedly
I like your poem,
The confusion of images like lament - cement,
planted kisses, makes me suspect you are joking and pleeding in the same time.
What was your intention?
now you make me wonder Irene
so far I did wander
a dying man's desire
to have his first days replay
That is what I thought
sad it didn't properly convey ..
Do kindly spare time
to help me so correctly say
if you may
Dear Lovedly,
Dear Lovedly,
Poetry is very subjective and my opinion is probably just one of a million others that may be closer to truth.
I gladly offer it to you anyway.
But know that you can send me to hell anytime.
First,
the level of language if it is Shakespeare's time, then I would lose the word cement (it was invented in 1824 and came into common language even later).
I prefer the modern language.
Which one do you prefer?
modern of course
I am an ultra modern guy not shy reality is my life an exposed book am I not only open you know why and to help this loner do try You are a great one that's why I said take over as
NEO CEO .....Glad you have been selected
ALL MY GOODEST WISHES
But how can u ever this say
''''''But know that you can send me to hell anytime.....'''''''
have I till today
lol i know
smile
Smiles and smiles and smiles
Smiles and smiles and smiles
If you moden than keep cement in your poem.
I like it very much.
Will you replace the archaic words and let's read it again.
I shall try in ''thy'' wisdom lie (as in lay)
thy by your
replace
archaic as you say
rest will try and do away
Thanks Irene
poetry is simply a words play
often many quote me as WORDSWORTH of the day
lol
many on neo may say
Come my love,
Come my love,
fear not the ailing one,
come lie on my shoulder
for one more time.
Now,
as the end approaches,
why be wry?
Lets within each other lie.
Such another moment
may not be again.
Come upon my cheeks,
plant a kiss.
Life gradually ebbs away.
May I place this shortened version of your poem on Instagram and sign it "Lovedly"?
your blesssings
your graceful hands
up on my shoulders I bow
Irene thanks you found in me
a poem
yes gracious
I am looking forward to
I am looking forward to posting your beautiful lines there.
kindly
twill my pleasure be
THE ONLY ONE WHO LIKED MY POEM
NEVER RETURNED TO NEO