Vantage Point

waking up at blush of dawn,
pacing in corridors of light,
I watch through windows of time
the world coming to life

in that momentous pause I see
past and present meet
as future waits on dotted lines
for destiny to come and sign

I sense the throbs & pulsations,
sounds, smells & emotions
consuming me in lavish colors
stunning my window frame

soon a welcome place I find
to hang a frame on the wall
where artists come and splash
colors and shades of their will

on my frame, an empty space
i invite who pause to see
"Fill this space with your colors
let others be your eyes"

losing myself in the crowd
my hungry eyes eagerly feast
colors that others splash
in the vacant space of time

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Somewhere in the world, IND

Comments

Hello raj

this is absolutely very vivid, and not without the beauty of imagination's bit that adds much to its poetic ingredients. I like it so much.
One suggestion, I think you need to be more specific with "the past"…"the present", and "the future". I bet you have your reasons to drop the article 'the'
Other than this, this is a piece that I wish I had written.
Thank you for sharing your talent. May colors bring life to your space, always.

Thanks Rula

for taking time to read and comment. I am removing "the" as suggested by you.
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your poem

I am a romantic, as you surely are in the beginning of this poem. Part of that is too often overuse color in our words and images to set the tone. For me you have 2 poems working here. I prefer the second:

VANTAGE POINT

I hang a frame on the wall
where artists come and splash
colors and shades of their will.

On my frame, an empty space
I invite who pause to see
"Fill this space with your colors
let others be your eyes",

losing myself in the crowd
my hungry eyes eagerly feast
colors that others splash
in the vacant space of time.

The first 3 stanzas build up to that but are more ornamental, with a vague image of the future being on dotted lines, not connecting to me with the lushness of the " Poesie of Nature " mixed in.
(I also punctuated to better indicate the second stanza was a new sentence.)
My take, a fellow romantic.