raj
Oct 02, 2018

returning breeze

my shadow was swept by a cloud cover
breath carried away by the wind
beneath eyelids I see us
dancing on that serene cloud
in those moments of whelming
bitter sweet tears flow in rivulets of rain

where we played, wild flowers swing in spring
in summer I remember the bug spray you'd bring
winter when I feel the chills
I pull the comforter beside
though it doesn't have lining of your skin
brings goosebumps upon mine

curtains swirl to the notes of wind chimes
lifting my mood on edges of their gilt
the four walls still echo your whispers
serenading me to sound sleep

in the morning I wake up to find
my reading glasses folded beside
my eyes lit up "was it you"?
because these were some of the things
you loved to do

while mist is clearing in the yard
fresh roses are blooming in our courtyard
your favorite coffee I sip on the deck
missing your breath upon my neck

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Somewhere in the world, IND

More from this author

Comments

S

tears bittersweet tears may I suggest upon my neck instead of on

R

thanks for reading and making two suggestions...being appropriate, I am implementing them...how about rest of the poem? feel free to critique any other aspect...
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Rula

Rula

6 years 6 months ago

An enjoyable read with pretty vivid images speaking of some fine treasured memories, and between the lines I could feel how dear your coffee is to your heart.
Highly appreciate it.

R

well as a protagonist I have attempted to capture how a woman could be making a transition after losing her partner....
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Rula

Rula

6 years 6 months ago

it could be interpreted in many ways. I see nothing to specify a certain situation. Even the
bitter sweet tears flow in rivulets of rain
could refer to any lingering memories, or what I thought.

R

raj

6 years 6 months ago

for sharing your perception...it's appreciated..

considering the sensitive moments around which these verses are spun i have attempted to maintain a soft texture in choosing the words...
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