Autumn Equinox

Every leaving
Is a coming

Summer ends
And we mourn

No longer laying
Beneath the fiery stars
On our backs

But orange and yellow
Stars are now falling
On our heads

When the world
Sheds its skin

A new adventure
Begins

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Maryland, USA

Comments

Greg

It is a good start but I was looking for more depth to this poem

thanks for trying to keep me

thanks for trying to keep me deep :). the first line, I agree, is a little heavy for the rest of the poem. I'm liking it though, still.