like a fistful
of jagged stones
holding on to
these memories
so tightly
has kept me from
grasping
for newer names
and negotiations
I’m not even
aware
that my hands
are bleeding
if I wanted
blood and permanence
I should have just
gotten a tattoo
they at least
are hands-free
let you live
then and now
a clock
and angel wings
on each arm
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Greg
Unusual subject but then life is unusual is it not jury is still out on this one
haha. yeah, I find the
haha. yeah, I find the freedom of writing can definitely make me go into strange territory sometimes. I'm pretty squeamish about blood, but I feel like it's a powerful visual in creative works. I do want to get a tattoo for the reason I sighted in the poem. it's nice to hold onto our memories, somewhere, but sometimes it takes up too much emotional space in our minds, I think. I just got divorced last year, so I've been processing a lot. trying to figure out what emotions I want taking up real estate in my heart and mind.
I have...
twelve tattoos. Three of which are cover-ups. [I will assume you know what a cover-up is]. So....
one fourth of them I didn't regret! Not bad for an impetuous youth, you say? Two of the ones I covered up with something else, were women's names. Having just divorced last year, I would think that you have discovered the folly of having someone's name tattooed on yourself! Sooooo.... my only advice is
to really, really make sure that you get something that you won't mind having on your body when you are seventy years old! I am happy with what I have now, except for one that was just bad workmanship! I still love the idea of it, it's just a shoddy job! I agree with the idea of them being hands-free memories. I can look at any of them and instantly be transported to the time, place and emotion that instigated each one. [Even the ones that are covered up!] See? You made me think again! Great job! ~ Geezer.
.
thanks for the stories,
thanks for the stories, geezer. that's one of the things I love about Neopoet, the life stories everybody shares. I have decided I think I'm gonna get my first tattoo in October. gulp. excited!
greg