lovedly

Sep 22, 2018

This poem is part of the contest:

September contest

(Read More...)

Losses and Findings (Reviewed ..September2018 Contest)

I only now recall ere the fall
come most human losses after all

I lost my pop
in summer
my mom a year earlier
rainy 'twas

my siblings too
decided to follow
mom and pop

suddenly I did recall
I came along a summer's eve
so all ought to be happy
in summer none would grieve
as I won’t surely leave

yet wait for a while
I soon discovered
those who are born
in October
Zodiac's Air sign
rarely die
in December
a Fire sign

so hopefully
I will not be lost
when summer is around
and will then be remembered only
for my discovery
of life's months of birth and death
differently

when the world loses me
short of the fall
then only all will say
yes Lovedly
an established
Zodiac poet really was

About This Poem

Last Few Words: October is an AIR TRIANGLE early December is Earth triangle Generally folks born in water signs and earth signs die naturally in AIR and Fire signs of the Zodiac My discovery Took me only sixty years to discover it

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: UNIVERSE...ETERNITY C/O ME, ROU

Favorite Poets: All across the Internet whom I read

Comments

good attempt Lovedly and a

good attempt Lovedly and a good theme too about what a precious loss one after the other...however I believe the poem doesn't clearly state what was found...i am sure with a bit of rethinking you will be able to work on that...having said this ..it is only my opinion....wait for others to comment and only iof you wish you may edit this...

best wishes for the contest....
......................................................................

thanks raj

pop and mom
rather the other way around
went off in 11 months
and i discovered FOUND OUT
Oct guys never die in December

I study the human mind and being
those born in air triangles
rarely die in air or fire triangles
so i found I won't die
in mid summer
may be in early
December
OR
late November
prizes i don't worry
its all about to be over
September
Thanx raj
wait and see
if in my poem there still is a deficiency
the judge may agree

Hi Lovedly

i have noted the revisions but couldn't figure out what is intended by

an Air sign
rarely die
in December a Fire sign

best wishes for the contest..
......................................................................

hi raj

The Zodiac has four triangles
AIR FIRE WATER AND EARTH
The months of LIBRA-OCT AQUARIUS-FEB AND GEMINI -JUNE are all AIR SIGNS OR POSITIVE IN POTENTIAL
and so on DEC TILL 21st IS A FIRE SIGN
and later on becomes EARTH which is a negative potential sign
It is difficult to incorporate all Zodiac signs of the calendar
I think a bit of.... Dec which is a fire sign
may ease out matters a bit
thanks a lot YOU ALSO THINK OF YOURS NEW ONE
IT IS GOOD IF I WERE to be JUDGE

All the best

lovedly

my only question would be the use of the word hopingly as it seems awkward and out of place perhaps something like wishing just a suggestion

thanks made it

hopefully
and as for Stan
removed line 5 but
Now can we hope
not to lose

hi loved

A worthy contest entry, indeed a good poem in any instance. Only suggestion is you might consider deleting "but" in line 5. But don't kick my but over it lol

thanks stan

I have saved your
butt

I like the beginning and then

I like the beginning and then was lost in zodiacs.
But thank you for posting your poem anyway.

Have you thought that every year you live through a day when you die, we celebrate birthdays, and we could grief or be especially reckless of deathdays if only we could know it.

Sometimes I magine that today is the day
that years later i will die.
The thought makes my heart pound.
Sometimes I feel as if a cold hand touches my face maybe that is the day? Or it is just a wind blowing through the window I forgot to close tight.
Sometimes I feel as if a shadow of a black wing comes across, maybe it is that day? Or it is just a fog rising from the melted pond.

September contest

Losses and Findings (Reviewed ..September2018 Contest)

About This Poem

About the Author

Comments

good attempt Lovedly and a

thanks raj

Hi Lovedly

hi raj

lovedly

thanks made it

hi loved

thanks stan

I like the beginning and then

birth is like a matter of fact... as is MATERNITY

I won

congrats in advance

Actually I wanted to type

when in haste