lovedly
lovedly
Sep 21, 2018

My Memories

Last I remember
was the setting sun
but last night I awoke
today some years away
in coma did I stay
they say

'twas a long sleep
the world had forgotten too
now no one knew me
sad but twas that's true.

tears of sorrow dripped
my heart a beat skipped
it assured me
wait there is still hope
a knock at the gate

well who comes
just a guess
the one I must confess
loved me least
when I was at my best
now comes to console
should this memory
now not make me whole

in my heart they found a hole
he only came to console

About This Poem

Last Few Words: an old imagery poem posted elsewhere 1000 read it I thought of obtaining your views neo's

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: UNIVERSE...ETERNITY C/O ME, ROU

Favorite Poets: All across the Internet whom I read

More from this author

Comments

IRiz

IRiz

6 years 7 months ago

A nice poem about how you find yourself estranged from the world.
I share the mood sometimes even if I did not lose decades in coma. Life is changing so fast.
Typo? "my heart a beat" did you mean "my heartbeat"?

i would take out tears of sorrow and replace it with something more colloquial in the same style as the rest of the poem

Not sure if i am getting the ending, but I have my limitations, it could be just me

lovedly

as without your guidance
I just can't compose any poetry
Where in the wilderness do you flee
care if you will to tell me

Then edit this I will
It was composed years ago
but Emul also asks me
to edit older poetry

WILL comply
as my senses come by
was almost a coma
but imagery

IRiz

My heartbeat skipped,
My eyes burnt, tears dripped

Am I off bit ? Sorry.
Hello my dear, I miss you too.
I am not in the wilderness but I am working on preparing my poems for publication and catching up on reading, learning French and rock climbing.
Tell me something about the most striking and bewildering discovery you ever had, your most revelating impression. It could be anything from understanding the rules of math, to some relationships.

lovedly

A B A N D O N E D

If I be that member
standing in the wilderness
stark lonely
like a stem in a desert by an oasis
Shorn
abandoned

What worth then be my very being
have been

Often I wondered alone
deprived of all intelligence
sheared of all arms and leaves
also nuances of life’s awards

Had I lead such a life
worthy of my salt

What worth then was
my very being

Sparrow

A lovely write from you, and once again it deserves many more comments.
I walk with many people here and in other places and you are one of the few that are still a mystery, one day you will let us know a name that you are known by as it needs us to know.
I will refer to you as the Bard for now , Yours Ian..

lovedly

exclusively for you
A Bard
so true
still old
but as fresh
as NEW