As Desperate As We Are

Has any heart
been turned
completely to stone?
Green calls to us,
lushly.
It is full of rebirth
and forgiveness.

Our ears can’t shut
out the sound
of clement
waves.
We can’t turn off
the heart’s
eager beat.

As we get buried
under tons and tons
of dirt,
something in our limbs
still surges
with the instinct,

the living desire,

to claw our way
out.

As desperate
as we are,
as alive —

maybe we need
a little
help.

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Maryland, USA

Comments

Greg

Nice one! Has a tender touch of humanity to it especially as it turns towards the end.
I know you don't need an answer but yes we do need a help

thanks, Rula!

Greg

In my opinion only Your second line is strong I would use this as the first line and eliminate the first. Love your next line "green calls to us lushly"

thanks for your read and

thanks for your read and comments. I think you're right. it works better without the first line. good eye.