Peaceful World ((((new title)))
It is cold
very cold
freezing temperatures
a mild drizzle
yet unmindful she stands silently
like a statue under the isolated tree
all about her come and see
why such depth of silence
they wonder who is she
so very sweet and lovely
fine
a veritable Divine
her eyes don’t blink
statue stark into the daylight distant
rare vision
no one knows where she is looking
yet her mission is just to draw
a large searching crowd
who will come and see
where she is looking
Blank
into the distant horizon
wilderness
mind totally blissfully absent
all come and shed a tear
many say smile
O dear
she has a silent demeanour
yet she conveys
why this War and trouble
Give Peace a chance
a tear trickles
then ups her umbrella
mission complete
it snows now nonstop
has conveyed her message
give a chance to PEACE
Let all live like friends
kith and kin
then moves out to the distance
so obscure
So all sing and say as a single voice
pray
Give Peace a chance you may.
Comments
Hi Lovedly
this could be rated as one of your better poems written more seriously creating good imagery of a statue and reading her mind as too of those who watch her....
i think the two lines "then ups her umbrella, mission complete" take a bit away also because how can a statue lift an umbrella? of course that is my thought....
.....................................................................
the statue you thought was an actual '' she''
standing in the cold wind
lifeless
trying to give a message
thanks grateful sincere effort
if I'm not mistaken
the "she" is you in the poem. N'est pas?
I thought maybe, but
kept coming back to this line:
like a statue under the isolated tree
So thinking she could not be both "like a statute" and a real statue, I chose the other possibility, which also kinda works.
..
thanks eumol
the girl is actual
but her inner heart is distraught
they posted her picture
and asked me
what I thought
Before I inform them of my inner feelings ...I posted it here to get visions from great neopoets like you thanks a mighty
glad u came twice
may be again you will
kindly
Hi loved
Like a hunter she awaits her prey which is ever elusive peace.Then the spell broken she moves to shelter herself from the storm. This is among your best I think.Hmmmm.... "is fine"....I think I'd delete "is". I am glad you wrote this..........stan
so much of broad kindness I 'd deleted is
stan
am glad you came by
Loved
Well written young Bard hope to read more of these as you begin to see that there in a stubbornness is a poet of great tasks..
Yours as always Ian..
that you still instil
stubbornness
its IAN's will
I do abide
but only at times
bard thanks
If only,
If only people would follow her lead, a better world we'd see. Regards Roscoe....
regards and thanks Roscoe
long time no see
I like the poem
thank you for directing me here, it is a interesting poem indeed.
I feel a bit confused but that is me, I am not good to read between the lines
take a sabbatical
confusion will go
This was a Challenge poem
of a snap of a girl alive
trying to pass a bold lesson
LET'S ALL
LIVE IN PEACE
Glad you liked it
though differently
thanks Irene
now I have decided to compose abstract poetry
Good luck
Good luck