AUGUST CONTEST

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Why Did I Love You?

like two fish
taken from different parts
of the sea
and put in the same
pet shop aquarium
I liked your stripes
and your smile
you my spots
and my moves
so we swam
everywhere together
under the arch
by the seaweed trees
beneath a golden “sun”
until you were bought
for $10.50
the price of our
betrayal

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Maryland, USA

Comments

Hi Greg

i loved the way you've approached this contest theme...

best of luck for the contest...
..........................................................................

nice one is it a contest poem

all the best
in Toronto there is a new aquarium
where they have a shoal of fish
swimming backwards
was she purchased there
lol