raj

Aug 18, 2018

Strength [Runic Symbol:Uruz]

S t r e n g t h is tested in adversity and tasted in success

About This Poem

Last Few Words: I am using Runic Symbols to write such one liners. Information on Runic Symbols can be found using following link www.instructables.com/id/How-To-Read-Runes/

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: How does this theme appeal to you?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Somewhere in the world, IND

Comments

Hello raj

This is another good to go liner with runic symbols. I thought it's a bit long,
Just a suggestion to shorten it:

S t r e n g t h is a phenomenal energy that makes the impossible possible when there is a will.

S t r e n g t h is a phenomenal energy that removes the "im" to make it possible.

As you know, just a suggestion and some thoughts evoled by your your nice liner.
Thank you for sharing.

Thanks Rula

for the suggestions. Accepted and implemented in toto.
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just a suggestion yes I am mr no know one but pick up some good metaphors twill help poets to use like
eg
vanilla
intrigue
veritable
select from thesaurus
and compile a poem book of your own
inimitable style
pass all your free while
compose in STYLE
you are well educated in poetry
all know it

Thanks Lovedly

for reading
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I am glad you and Rula

I am glad you and Rula attempted to write lines for the Runes. Have fun.
I am not sure if I like the line though,
that repetitions of possible makes it too prosaic.
I am not even sure that strength can be defined by the word energy.
Strength is a capacity to resist and persist but I think there should be a better way to say what I mean.

even though you have not

even though you have not liked it thanks for reading and finding time to visit the pages...it is appreciated. I write as good as I can as an amateur and will keep at it...

thanks for sharing your frank opinion.

energy is used here in similar context as power is in will power
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Yes I understand and yet

Yes I understand and yet strength energy and power although belong to the same bin have very different meaning. Why don't you think about the rune symbol more. I am sure you will come up with a better line.
I don't think you are amateur, please don't give yourself a label. Your are a unique talant and will spark if to push yourself being a little more critical to yourself. I think great lines are born only when the author productive and critical. I wish you the happy balance. I apologise for writing this, but my intention is to help. I maybe too critical, so you have my permission to forget my words. Best wishes, Irene.

IRiz

please believe me that your critique like those of others is welcome and taken seriously and positively knowing that it is with a good intent...so never stop doing that ok....keep knocking me on my back...i mean it..

I have now updated it...
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I thought about the whole approach you have taken.

First, your new try sounds good. But the underlining idea of the first one was better. I feel sorry you gave it up completely. Maybe you want to use a metaphor to convey you thought, for example Strength can move mountains. But that is cliche.

Secondly,
I think we need something paradoxical something that makes reader think.
What do you think about the following line?
Strength turns into weakness with too much belief.
Do you think it is true?

Thank you IRiz

for visiting this page again and for sharing your thoughts...I will let them do the rounds in my mind...

as for the line strength turning into weakness with too much belief is a good line but to me sounds like a line about "over confidence" which of course is bad for anything and not just strength..

I have come up with another version which perhaps keeps some connection with the original theme...
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Sounds good but needed to be

Sounds good but needed to be shortened, unless repetitions are your common feature of the entire collection.

By repetitions are you

By repetitions are you suggesting Tested and Tasted to be a repetition?...
though I don't recollect, since you have observed that repetitions are common feature in the entire collection, I will certainly re visit them and do the needful...

PS I quickly browsed through the one liners and find that only in the one pertaining to Love there is a repetition of the word "some"...will work on that
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