scribbler
Aug 08, 2018

PHANTOM

In the silence of late night
I feel the eyes
and in the darkness of deep winter
i sometimes hear the stealth.

He's there

First detected years ago
I thought , perhaps, imagination.
A flit in the corner of my eye
then time passed
and the clues
became more frequent.

Until
sometimes in crowded rooms
a full shadow sitting in the rear
who whisked away when focused on.

As loved ones as funerals passed by
and more autumns shed their leaves
as hair turns white and then turns loose
those features become more distinct.

Yet often for months
sometimes years
He is nowhere to be seen.
But he's there
waiting

And one day
Quite unexpected
perhaps as I trek
some deep woods trail
he'll call my name
when my time is done
and I'll be gone.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: South Carolina, United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Frost

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

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Comments

Rula

Rula

6 years 8 months ago

It's strange how each of us view "Death"
I think you've done a quite good job with your imagery.
I expect from YOU to come up with an extremely different coda as you've always get us used to.
A different take maybe on how you expect to receive this phantom? I'm sure you can do it!

S

I hope to be already dead before I'm aware I'm dead lol. But it's far more likely I'll just fade away like an autumn leaf turning brown

lovedly

As loved ones as(!?) funerals passed by
(and) more autumns shed their leaves
as hair turns(ed) white and then turns(ed) loose
those features become more distinct.

so very true r stan u
(x)MAY REVIEW
tense wise
else ur wise
otherwise

Obadiah Grey

Its a job best suited to a woman I've always thought, Stan.
so, my tip would be to leave the light on and surround yourself with mirrors.

especially liked the fourth stanza.

Obi,

T

tyro

6 years 8 months ago

I can very much relate to this, though my phantom has at times been insistent that I look.

Great job, it is very evocative.

S

I'm kinda surprised at the amount of commentary of this rare free verse poem. Thank you for such kind comment

T

tyro

6 years 8 months ago

"I'm kinda surprised at the amount of commentary"

that's because it is something, in varying degrees, varying forms, common to all of us.