Skull and Tongue

skull and tongue

a barrier
a numinous opening

what if we could
read each other’s minds?

but a bee
must travel from
flower to flower

and we must choose
our words
carefully

a mother sees her
five year old son
leave his father
in the other room
without any recognition
mourning his selfishness

not seeing
the pictures of love
for him in his mind

how many
relationships suffer
or end

because of the
distance between
a river’s source
and its emptying
into the sea?

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Maryland, USA

Comments

Important message in piece like a fine toothed comb

Important message in piece like a fine toothed comb. Realized the message in the second paragraph. Had to put your thinking cap on very moving in its form you got this very much you know. Like to read your writing very well done in connection to this piece you got going on here right words right connection. Will look out for more of your writings in the future with a favorable response.