Never
Tread the dreadful
Roads of terrorism
For they will only drag you to
The deadly destiny no matter how
Daring your heart is my dear son
So please, if you're thinking
Of joining it
Never
Never
Tread the dreadful
Roads of terrorism
For they will only drag you to
The deadly destiny no matter how
Daring your heart is my dear son
So please, if you're thinking
Of joining it
Never
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Dear Rula
just as it looks like a diamond your appeal to your Son is crystal clear and pure pouring from a Mother's heart for every son...the emphasis is on Never which is the beginning and end of the poem...the verses are very touching ..
very warmly...
......................................................................
when experts speak
I prefer silence
but Rula
your message is not only to your son
but all moms
for their sons
wonderful message
hope all will accept it
Rula
I came back to tell your that your poem has kept ringing in my years because i believe that the words reflect the concern of mothers whose sons are likely to be influenced not only the violence going around them but also by their peers...your poem is but an expression of an inner voice and prayer of a mothers that their sons should not make wrong choices...
........................................................................................................................
a tear drop
from a mother. How sad you must have to face this reality.
As far as the poem reads, not knowing the shape, the I love the "d" sounds repeating. And the repeat of Never. The poem has great empathy.
My own feeling is to use the world "violence" rather than label it "terrorism", as those who partake in "terrorism" don't see their acts as such, they justify their acts as acts of war or resistance using violence. The forces around your son disclaim the word "terrorist" and they feel they have a holy or political cause, and they will shout that loudly to the youth to engage them, calling them "freedom fighters" With such overwhelming forces against such a resistance, your son, all the sons, need a different path as the violence is not working and neither is martyrdom. I hope your son can be inspired by Mandela, and I would say Gandhi (if we can forgive his racism for a moment) to see the results of his independence revolution. It is hard to imagine the insanity of hatred lasting forever.
Humanty is strange. In the last century hundreds of millions were killed in wars, and now all the enemies which slaughtered eachother are best friends. Sooner or later all the tribalism will end. Perhaps the internet and the other modern forces are helping to bring the youth together in this goal.
I hope so. And if I knew how to pray, I would pray for you and your son.
Hello all
and much apprecation for the nice words expressed in your comments.
I'd however say that this short message in the (rectametre form) has nothing to do with reality (nothing about my close family at least), but I guess it has been a normal ramification to the madness that our world is "made of"nowadays, and which makes it hard for the poet's heart and pen to stand insouciant in front of.
I thought this is a very rich field for true poetry to militate against all the violence around the world.
However, as a muslim I should have made it clear that there is a big difference between "violence/ madness/ terrorism" on whatever that's happening around the world on one hand( specifically in Syria nowadays ), and the true "jihad" which I truly see in the Palestinian long fight against the Israeli occupation.
There IS really a very big difference there which is not our subject here.
Sorry if I expetiated in my reply, but I truly apprciate reading and listening to me.
Thank you
great sentiments Dear Rula
great sentiments Dear Rula
I fully agree with this plea.
Thank you dear friend for
Thank you dear friend for your kind words.
Much appreciated.
Nice poem, dear Rula
Nice poem, dear Rula
Heartfelt.
Thank you
dear IRiz
I read
about organizations which pay families whose sons and husbands commit suicide while killing others.....and I wonder if these organizations actually believe that money is an even trade for the life of a loved one. And I also wonder if any mother can truly support her child do this................................stan
I think
that we should strongly inveigh aganist such o
Hope such messages touch the hearts and souls of those mothers and fathers everywhere.
Thank you Stan for your thoughts.
Amen...
I truly believe, that one day, we will look upon one and other, as all being of one race, not withstanding the differences of color, beliefs and economic status. Until that day, let us remember that we are all stuck together here on this world and we better make it work!
~ Geezer.
.
Amen
To that too Gee. Much appreciate your read and the heartfelt comment.