IRiz
IRiz
Jun 30, 2018

Emily-moment

There is a paper boat
on my desk.
It is reflected in the glass
like in a calm lake.
It carries a poem on board.
The poem number
nine hundred forty six
I can still see
some of the words
on the top deck
“It is an honorable Thought”.
The rest is hidden in the folds.

I’ll take the boat.
I’ll pull the anchor from the ink,
defying death and angry silt
I will take off,
and I will read
the poem
leaving all my sorry-selves
from hopeful youth to older versions
behind
to trot along bookshelves.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: I wrote about reading a poem “It is an honorable Thought…” (946) by Emily Dickinson Here is a full text of her poem: It is an honorable Thought And makes One lift One’s Hat As One met sudden Gentlefolk Upon a daily Street That We’ve immortal Place Though Pyramids decay And Kingdoms, like the Orchard Flit Russetly away

Review Request Direction: How was my language use?

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Washington DC, USA

Favorite Poets: Matsuo Bashō

More from this author

Comments

R

raj

6 years 10 months ago

Thanks IRiz for serving a double treat one from you and the other from Emily Dickinson...I especially liked the line "the rest is hidden in the folds"...and good visual impact of

There is a paper boat
on my desk.
It is reflected in the glass
like in the calm lake.

................................................................................................

gregwa8

I too, liked the first image, of the boat reflected in the glass "like in the calm lake". Emily Dickinson can certainly send you on a journey, a sea of ink. this poem is an honorable thought.
greg

IRiz

Hi Jess,
William Luce's one-woman play, The Belle of Amherst was a key for me to Emily Dickinson.
The play has a unique mix of biographical prose and Dickinson's poetry.

weirdelf

I think the first stanza could be condensed a little, it feels a tad prosaic, whilst the second stanza really takes off with the metaphor.
As per your request some suggestions on what is not grammatically incorrect but sounds like second-language English-
like in the calm lake.
like in a calm lake.

I’ll pull an anchor from the ink,
I’ll pull anchor from the ink,
or
I’ll pull the anchor from the ink,
or, the nautical term
I’ll weigh anchor from the ink,

I don't usually like reflexive works on poetry but you sail away successfully with this one. My reading-
https://vocaroo.com/i/s18RRG9wp55L

IRiz

Jess,
Thank you for the corrections.
It helps a lot.
Your reading is the best treat.