gregwa8
gregwa8
Jun 24, 2018
This poem is part of the contest:

JUNE 2018 CONTEST

(Read More...)

Elizabeth, I'm Sorry (JUNE CONTEST)

my tongue is tied now
as it was then
around yours
in the library parking lot
my first French kiss
a language that I didn’t speak then
and still can’t

sometimes there is no need
for words
but sometimes I wish
for nothing more
than to put the deepest parts
of my heart
on my lips
express
how absolutely
terrible
I feel

that while you were struggling
with cancer
in the battle for your life
probably the loneliest
the most scared
you’ve ever been
I was off down the
high school halls
looking for
someone else to kiss

my silence
my absence
haunts me
still
twenty five years later

it’s not that I didn’t love
talking to you
for hours and hours
in the middle of the night
in middle school
on our rotary phones
until you or I
fell asleep
on the other line

or that I wouldn’t care
if you were there
one day
and gone the next

it’s that I didn’t know
at fourteen years of age
anything about
the mute void of death

and the way that you
might never
get the chance
to say
the two words
most important
in the English language
after, “I love you”

Elizabeth,
I’m sorry

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Maryland, USA

More from this author

Comments

Sparrow

A very good write, just one small extra "I Love You" is always referred to as "Those three little words" if I remember rightly, confirmed by the wife who just smiled.
Good luck in the contest,
Yours Ian..

gregwa8

thanks, Ian. the two words that are most common after I love you are "I'm sorry". sorry, it is a bit confusing. thanks for your well wishes and kind words!

R

raj

6 years 10 months ago

whether it is a real life experience or not....it has brought out some delicate past experiences and experiencing them very vividly...making the words I'm sorry true expressions...

best wishes for the contest...
................................................................................................

gregwa8

thanks raj. it is a real life experience, one of my big regrets in life. she recovered and is living a happy life now, so it has a happy ending. though I left it open ended (or perhaps closed ended) in the poem. "I'm sorry" can be very cliched words. but sometimes they are the best words to express what we feel and how we respond to wrong we might have done. thanks for stopping by and commenting and sharing how the poem resonated with you.

R

Yes indeed the poem resonated with me...even more now that you have shared about the background..

i have always believed and told my colleagues and Junior staff that "Thank You" and "Sorry" are two most powerful expressions of intent but many don't use it when required...
.................................................................................................

Feebie

Feebie

6 years 10 months ago

Hi Greg,

I, for one so relate to this very powerful, poignant piece. Excellent write from one now aware of the "Mute void of death". That line especially, so few words that convey a depth less meaning to them.

Thank you for sharing so openly - one of things we poets tend to do in very small increments, yet when we do share - we speak volumes where others fear to broadcast.

I loved the flow, the rhythm and overall the message. Best of luck in the contest.

Thinking of doing a submission myself.....will sleep on it and decide in the morning. ;-)

Yours in Script
Feebie

gregwa8

thanks, feeble. I'm glad it resonated. I saw one of your poems about losing someone to suicide. I'm so sorry. hopefully our poetry can help us through the hard times, relate to one another, heal through processing it all in a safe and creative space. you should definitely enter the contest! I hope to read your contribution as well.

Feebie

Hi Greg,

Thank you for stopping by and reading.

I will submit a little later today......maybe.....perhaps.

Definitely will be reading and following your work as it is posted as well.

Yours in Script

Feebie

Feebie

Hi Greg,

Thank you for stopping by and reading.

I will submit a little later today......maybe.....perhaps.

Definitely will be reading and following your work as it is posted as well.

Yours in Script

Feebie

lovedly

wash away the shadows of youth @14
and
as she is living happily
have no regrets
such incidents make memory
for life one casts poetry
and
see you will again
WIN ..
It will be a great
BUST
of your everlasting memory