Summer Shadows

Summer.
Drunk on the abundant treats,
birds and frogs chirp, shriek and drum.
Hidden in deafening shade
the invisible orchestra rocks.
I don’t hear my steps anymore.
I don’t hear my own voice.

Jumping
on the soaking wet tufts,
summer startles away pearl-green bugs.
They freeze like toy zeppelins
in midair and slowly glow.

Shadows
are coming back.
They swing over the shallow shoals,
sway under the branches
like washed
and put out to dry on summer sun blankets.
They change shapes and colors.
And if it wasn’t for birds and frogs
their whispering talk
could be heard.

Oh yes,
they grow deeper
with every new leaf
and they whisper
sweet nothings
to summer.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: How is my ending? Is "sweet nothing" overused expression?

Review Request Direction: How was my language use?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Washington DC, USA

Favorite Poets: Matsuo Bashō

Comments

this poem reminds me of a poem I'd once composed

o what a beautiful summer
'twas
out in the wilderness
of times
when we were
romping
you and I
as she watched
silently

but your poetry is
more worthy

Don't say that.

Don't say that.
Who decides?
Thanks for reading.

I personally like the "sweet

I personally like the "sweet nothings" line in this poem. i love the contrast of the frogs and birds "shriek and drum" with the shadows (is this some other animal?) who you would hear if it weren't for the frogs, etc. i think it would actually be "if it WASN'T for birds and frogs" not "if it WOULDN'T for". "pearl-green" is a beautiful color, that you might have made up :). this is very evocative of the summer months. a little preview of what's to come. makes me want to get outside in the noise and the shadows! thanks for writing and sharing.

Hi Gregwa8,

Hi Gregwa8,
Thank you very much for readimg, commenting,spelling out the plot and correcting my error. I appreciate your help and time.
Have a wonderful week. Summer is already here where I live. But shadows are still growing.

Hi IRiz

I liked the optics and dynamics of summer you have created with the moving pieces ending with seductive whispers of the shadows as they extend their charmed existence...
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Hi Raj,

Hi Raj,
I have got it just right. Thank you for being around. Enjoy your summer.