Not Used To Kill

we could all be more
like little children

with how we remember
and how we forget

going down the slide
again and again and again and again
or letting it slide

sometimes it seems like children
are the divining rods in life

finding the vein
beneath the surface

we grow up
and learn how much appearance
how much the skin
matters

we’re caught in war after war
based on the most superficial things

we forget the heart
that a child sees
like with infrared goggles

not used
to kill

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Maryland, USA

Comments

Greg

There is a child within each one of us and your poem reminds us that it never sleeps.

good thoughts expressed...
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thanks mark, for your

thanks mark, for your comments. childhood is certainly a simpler, more innocent time. and it might be far fetched to want us to get back to that, after all that life demands as an adult. i have mixed feelings about this poem, since i wrote it, about a year ago. i try to process what i think through my poetry, get better with language and communication, but i'm often asking myself, is this true to life? real wisdom or beauty? it's how i process, though. it's nice to find a community that is sensitive to the fact that we're all growing and processing, both as thinkers/doers, and as writers. i do like the title, because kids are not used to killing, that innocence that you were talking about. (and should not be used for killing, either.) though you are certainly right, used is a difficult word.