IRiz
IRiz
Mar 04, 2018

Skiing poem

The plane
ascends,
its shadow
- smaller 
and smaller -
finally melts.

My smile 
grows larger
than my body.

The road curls
between snow banks.

Cars are beads of sweat
on the mountain's chest.

Sun dives
through opaque
clouds and smirks.

Shoulders
weighted down --
wet snow on old firs.

I glide,
slide and drop
dancing with birds.

Sudden,
quiet tumble,
heels over head.

With snow
on my back
colors are brighter.

Survived
and love it.
Moving ahead.

Mountains
merge with the sky,
trees and boulders
escape into clouds.

Minutes depart
into reckless flight
skimming curves
like dolphins.

Green moss,
blackened cliffs,
arching fog
over the gorge.

Icicles
drip, fall and rest
on the lichen beds.

Snow heaps
rocket off
the curled eaves.
Buds swell.

My heart in unison
stops, rocks
and takes off.

My smile
grows larger
than my body.
I am alive.

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: How was my language use?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Washington DC, USA

Favorite Poets: Matsuo Bashō

More from this author

Comments

T

Thanks for the memories. The skiing here is nothing short of phenomenal and the experiences can be surreal. Having not skied in quite a few years it was also a hurtful reminder I can no longer ski due to unfortunate circumstance, but it sure brought good feelings and a smile. Your poem brings back the memories, and I could almost feel the wind and elements pelting my exposed facial features. Exhilerating! Thank you!

IRiz

Thank you for reading my lines and sharing your experiences with me. It is important for me to know that my words are in your heart. I can but
It is hard to imagine what you mean, I thank you for sharing your memories with me.

R

raj

7 years 1 month ago

Thanks IRiz for creating the window seat view of the landscapes you have captured so beautifully within and between those verses...my eyes popped out and had to keep on wiping the windshield glass pane so I didn't miss the landscapes from a bird's eye view..

Thanks for the pleasure...
.....

Geezer

the rush down the mountain and the scenery. A few typos, but easily fixed.
1]mountain
2]mountain's chest
3]skydive

So glad to see you have had a great time! ~ Geezer.
.

IRiz

Thank you for reading and correcting
Typing on the phone in the back of a skiing van,
loud laughter and music, emazing scenariy everything is distracting

S

I always wanted to try snow skiing but about the time I had the resources I also garnered bad knees which kept me off the slopes. But your poem likely is pretty darn close to actual trip down a snowy hill so thanks for that. Only thing which might make this better would be to post it in "concrete " form but the site makes that hard to do right now.......stan

IRiz

Hello Stan,
Thank you for reading my lines.
I tried to share what I felt this week skiing fresh deep powder at the end of winter.
Thank you for telling me that it worked.
Looks like you were water skiing in the past.
I never done that.
Best, I.

Eumolpus

I wish i could have when I had the legs, it was a choice between that and private school for the kids.
A lot of people swear by it, and your poem makes it feel that way.
I used to get a similar thrill on roller skates outdoors. You do "feel alive"
>>>

IRiz

Hello Eumolpus,
We moved into a good school district instead, it was a good choice.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me this evening.
Have a reasonably acceptable Monday, my friend.

lovedly

It reminded me of my first flight
in 1968
since then I sit just anywhere they state
and
for the younger lot give way
window seats are often
now misty
pollution