lovedly
lovedly
Feb 13, 2018
This poem is part of the workshop:

Sunku: beyond rhyme and rhythm, search for new structures in short form

(Read More...)

one two and three (SUNKU WORKSHOP) IRIZ

tonight
happiness
secretary

mature
feminine
appreciate

REVIEWED at Behest

Tonight
happiness
Secretary

Mature
feminine
appreciate

Hammer
dangerous
celebration

Howz it any better
imagine the event
with closed eyes

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: UNIVERSE...ETERNITY C/O ME, ROU

Favorite Poets: All across the Internet whom I read

More from this author

Comments

IRiz

IRiz

7 years 2 months ago

Hello my friend, you are nearly there.
You have room for one more stanza to explain and develop your so far a bit too criptic poem.
But I see a lot of things behind it already.
My own mind started working along the lines.
It is a good sign if you make the reader to start imagening or remembering. Looking forward to your reply.

lovedly

will add another stanza

If i recall you had mentioned somewhere
let imagery till the reader's mind
so I left is as such
You get the whole spirit
others will too
This has been my first concerted effort
to forget my free style
only coz of your encouragement
as you graded me
as a poet

OTHERS still doubt it!
though a minuscule...

IRiz

No doubts, you are a poet. Maybe a bad one though. I am kidding, my friend. I hope you will laugh with me.
Let's just don't give a duck what people think. Let's just write what we want and how we feel. Hugs.

IRiz

IRiz

7 years 2 months ago

Ha, unexpected ending.
I am imagining you wrote about an office affair, that was uncovered and had unwanted implications.
It is most unexpected subject for a poem. Unconventional.
But maybe I misunderstood?

S

Almost makes me wish I worked in an office lol.......stan