In a world of words, truths are told,
secrets are unfolded,
for everyone to behold,
and reality to enfold.
But beware of sweet words,
they are falsehood furred,
thrilling illusions,
they will plunge you into delusions.
More like a quick sand,
they will sink you underground.
In a world of words, justice is secured.
In a world without words, justice is impaired.
Words are your voice,
with them you have choice.
Comments
I like the idea of your poem
The opening stanza nicely draw us in what will a poem about the power of words. The second stanza stops the reader to consider "sweet words" as false. Always considering your audience, you never want them to stop to consider something that is not backed up, you want to keep them in the flow. We do not know what the sweet words are, but my immediate response to Sweet is a good things.like ice cream or chocolate...see what I mean?
Next you introduce justice, that big Platonic subject. For one thing, USA's current maniac in chief uses words, false words, to create his justice. Words only secure justice if they tell the "truth", as opposed to "fake news". Justice can be controlled by words, as per speak of Big Brother in 1984.
With such a big subject such as justice, you must be clear to the reader what you mean.
My feeling i the poem has to be longer, to better define its premises.
Thank you so much Eumolpus, i
Thank you so much Eumolpus, i really appreciate your comment and suggestions.
behold fold and enfold
unfolded,
you may search for perhaps
a different word
unless it has been intended
to readers eyes unfurl
your poetry is becoming
more like a lovely pearl
Thank you so much Lovedly i
Thank you so much Lovedly i really appreciate your kind comment.
like Freedom, Justice is just a state of mind.
take note from eumoplus, he's a canny chap.
enjoyed.
g
AlrIght i will and thanks so
AlrIght i will and thanks so much for stopping by, Gunnar Hedlund.
This would be your first experiment with the volta in a sonnet?
Actually a double volta. Ambitious bugger, aren't you? [smiles]
I love the wordplay in this and it is entirely appropriate for the subject.
Is this meant to be a sonnet? Actually, apart from the 14 lines and the volta(s) it isn't. Sonnets are usually written in iambic pentameter and use the rhyming schemes ABAB CDCD EFEF GG, not rhyming couplets.
I won't say anything about content, I think Eumolpus covered that.
Thank you so much Jess, I
Thank you so much Jess, I really appreciate your critique.
No Jess, it was not meant to be a sonnet, I barely knew the poem has fourteen lines, you just called my attention to it.I wrote it some time ago for a contest.I actually edited before submitting it here,of which I ended up cutting off some lines.
Thanks again Jess.
Words, the power of naming,
the first magic, the first power and control. The first tools for peace and war.
As wielders of words poets have the primal power. Don't abuse it, we have an awesome possibility.
Lies, we see increasingly, have the power to abuse and undernine people themseves.
We must be accountable for every
word we use.