there is a lonely spot
off the beaten path
a small meadow
a single tree
and me
I sit
back to trunk
in rest
as shadows
slowly pirouette
and thoughts wander
as they will
to places pleasant
in which to ponder
a sense of bliss
arises within
and I realize
that we
the tree and me
are both exquisitely
happy
no rhyme nor reason
can I apply
to satisfy
the how or why
but as I stand
to leave
lt seems
the tree
is waving
good-bye
to me
Comments
very nice poem
Nice expression of simple moment of joy expressed elegantly. Nice connection with the tree. A favorite philosopher Krishnamurti once remarked one of the most difficult things to do is appreciate a tree, connect with a tree, without naming it, or categorizing it. And that you have done.
I would definitely drop the first two lines, beginning the poem
a small meadow
a single tree
and me
That immediately set the scene, we can tell you are alone there. Kind of like the way the Rubaiyat uses "A loaf of bread/a jug of wine/ and thou" to open a poem.
I also would consider a different title. No suggestions, nor do I think I should.
Hello
An elegant simple poem. The random rhymes move it along effortlessly, easily. I don't try to rhyme much in my own work because it seems to distort what I'm trying to say, but maybe I'll try it this way...it seems almost unintentional.
I agree...
with Empy. Drop the first two lines. The title? Ehhhh. But I am assuming that you felt the afternoon WAS extraordinary. And why not? Leaning back against a tree, if you do not find a certain connection with one of the most extraordinary forms of life on the planet, then you truly do not appreciate the superb gift that Mother Nature has given us. ~ Gee.
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Hi
I'd not drop those first two lines as they tell of the isolation of the tree's location. I Would change the title by using a word opposite of extraordinary. By doing so it might just add emphasis to the fact that the day was far from ordinary..............stan