All the world's A stage
As we rage and disengage
World is more a cage
Nov 13, 2017
Polarized Perspectives:
About This Poem
Last Few Words: Wordless worth
Style/Type: Structured: Eastern
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
Haiku
the world is a stage actually
I think needs a tweek
I like the idea but something for me doesn't fit...perhaps something like
If all the world's a stage
As we rage and disengage
All the world is more a cage
Something like that, as there is action in the poem which needs clarifying. right now we have
Statement
Phrase ( I think it is an "infinitive phrase" starting with as, but I'm not a grammarian)
Incomplete sentence.
maybe its like a puzzle, I surely get the idea, so my take is needs a tweek to tie tighter.
eumoplus
appreciate your review - if i changed the wording as you have suggested, the syllable count would be affected and the poem would not be a rhyku, my specialty. anyway thanks for the input and I have responded in lowercase due to your ee cummings tribute.