On Having Learned The Word Mushaira In A Discussion About Collective Nouns And Advised By My Attorney To Expand And Tell The Truth.
There will be a solace of poets
at my mushaira on Saturday.
All the pretty poets
will dance and sing and play
There will be a deviance of drugs
at my mushaira on Saturday.
All the pretty poets hug,
they'll stagger, fall and pray
for a pinhead of angels
to take them all away
to a variance of heavens
and then to their dismay
a host of heaven's finest
with a wild array of warrants
will put them under arrest
for linguistic crimes abhorrent
they’ll plead a puerility of cases
with a simulchritude of similes,
and a flatulence of feelings on their faces
putting the angels ill at ease
all the pretty poets
and the angels
become bored
feathers start to fly...
no pretty poet has ever been
too eloquent to brawl
and several notable angels
have taken the big fall
So rather than extinguish each other
in lightning bolts and iambic insults
they drop the weapons of words and swords,
caress each others prides and wounds
And having little left to say
they have each other in every other way
the feathers fly and groans are wild
the sex... well no complaints are filed
The evening comes and parting's sweet,
if sore, much love was made upon the floor,
The drugs are gone and bed seems nice,
till someone brings a gram of ice.
And so it's off again, we're safe
they'll indulge beyond God's grace,
and he can truly harsh a buzz, the bum,
I spike his sacrificial wine
with LSD, particularly fine.
He didn't join the carnal spree,
just composed some verses, rather twee,
I said "they're nice
your should write more,
you may not end up a massive bore".
He took it all in humour fine,
tossed a lepers finger in my wine
and so we ended, quite sublime.
We're poets
we know it,
often blow it,
and reap as we sow it.
(Live at https://soundcloud.com/neopoet/on-having-learned-the-word-mushaira-in-a…)
Comments
And I missed the party
Damn living in another country. I miss all the fun.
Um... wot... hoo?
oh yeah... Vive la poésie!
where are my knickers?
[passes out again]
Loved this,
Loved this, so dastardly clever. Regards Roscoe...
Thank you.
It was fun. Inspired and written during a chat at Neopoet Facebook.
I would have given anything
I would have given anything to be in this Mushaira. But distance is somewhat a big barrier. A skillfully composed poem and thanks for sharing,Weildelf .
Next tiime, Marvel
and thank you.
Clever and funny
Had me laughing out loud.
But I won’t demean you with lol.
Jx
Thank you,
and your consideration is deeply appreciated.
[giggles maniacally]
I didn't know a mushaira
from a poetry slam. Another very interesting event in this world I never heard of. Sorry that the poets who join you pray for a pinhead of angels who will usher them to paradise only to find out they are convicted of bad writing...
In the last stanza..I cannot know in Australia but that kinda nursery rhyme thing "He's a poet but he don't know it" is the kinda thing you would expect from a guy wearing an "I'm with stupid" t shirt .
I guess in the end ...although I think the poem is funny in the way it puts down poets, I'm not sure why.
You're taking it too seriously man,
or not seriously enough. Poets are pretty, they're partying hedonists who sometimes have bad trips (there are no atheists on bad trips), they have sex with angel critics! What's wrong with that?
I think someone got up on the wrong side of bed this morning.
That last stanza, see my last words re Mr Zimmerman? Remember "Another Side of Bob Dylan", track 5 "I Shall Be Free No. 10"?-
"Now they asked me to read a poem
At the sorority sisters’ home
I got knocked down and my head was swimmin’
I wound up with the Dean of Women
Yippee! I’m a poet, and I know it
Hope I don’t blow it"
Just a quick note from me
Mark and Kelsey I think the whole point of using that line is to create a bit of satire. It was very much done on purpose. Which in an inverted way, makes it a very strong line/couple of lines.
It's that old British humour thing - the Aussies have a very similar brand of it.
Jx
re that he's a poet or i'm a
re that he's a poet or i'm a poet thing it worked when dylan sang it
Jess,
This is really fun. There was something about it that I couldn't put my finger on, but I think Eumolpus has got spot on. I think the last two stanzas are weak compared to the rest. I know this one was written on whim after an informal chat, but consider getting back to the rhyme and line length of the previous stanzas to strengthen the last two.
Some ideas to get your gears turning for the second to last stanza:
all the pretty poets and the angels
become bored, feathers start to fly
the faith of the poets becomes baneful
as their writing is supernaturally decried
Glad to see you writing,
Kelsey
Yeah, your right, I kinda ran out of steam
and didn't think the work of sufficient merit to pursue, but between Roscoe's comment and your feedback I find myself motivated again. I really appreciate your suggestion and will use it in part, although my thinking was more towards the poets and angels joining in a joyous cosmic fuck. Suck eggs the Metaphysical Poets.
Thank you.
i guess
But it is autumn. Brings out the grim in us. Thanks for getting me to lighten up..
I did not remember those lines from Dylan, who was occasionally quite acerbic. Good lines.
cool
check out the album, it really is well titled. "Motopsycho Nightmare" is a hoot. It's also got the first recording of "It Ain't Me Babe".
Oh, and it's spring here upover.
There s no equivalent of ''MUSHAIRA'' in the English Language
but when in doubt
one may Google .
Don't bother, you tosser,
what did you think of my poem?
UR alaways excellent says ur ''tosser''
yes
I have no qualification to assess jess
Thanks Jane and Kelsey for suggestions
I took it that Mark was just having an autumn day but Kelsey is right in that it does fizzle out. I think I'll work on rewriting the second last verse to make it more... um... explicit, keep
"they’re poets
they know it
hope they don’t blow it"
and maybe improve on
"with a heftiness of hopes."
Don't lose
'they're poets
they know it'
It really made me laugh.
Jess
A grand write must have nudged a few as some of the comments reminded me of times when we had battles.
Meaningful critique is good and I always fail to understand why some of the critique is directed at the poet.
What the hell, a poet that writes fiction cannot possibly be downed for his or her write.
I have no more toys in my pram, so does this mean I have to be nice all the time.
Take care young Jess great to walk with you again,
Yours, Ian..
By crikey I must be growing a thick skin!
I didn't notice any critique directed at me.
The only one that pissed me off was Lovedly's, who refused to comment on the poem itself because the big baby is in a snit because I didn't review his/her last poem. What a jerk! I have given that petulant piece of shit miles of critique over the years and he/she has given nothing but dipsy whoopsy onanistic ramblings and 10 year old girl's jumping up and down pleas to view his/her own work.
I haven't been very patient, have often been rude and abusive but I always given solid critique. Well fuck Lovedly, s/he gets nothing from me any more. (I hope s/he reads this, nothing you wanker, fuck off)
Thanks my brother, 'A grand write', that's nice. Yes I enjoyed writing it and you know I love a bit of humour and wordplay.
.
.
your comments are interesting
your comments are interesting considering the current work shop. i think a lot of the rhythm in your poem could be tightened up. glad i was not there and i will write lol
I get the distinct impression
that you just like being argumentative.
It's not annoyed Lovedly
It's just irritated by your self absorbed meaningless drivel.
If you can' t communicate in a way people can understand and relate to, then don't be surprised when they stop communicating.
thanks
just wait and see
Q.E.D.
My case in point.
Hi cousin It.
Fifth stanza is really really good. I Knew you were a closet rhymer lol. A wonderful example of use of rhyme in free verse as well as an entertaining read. I could almost picture myself being led off by the meter police from a party of jabbering poets for the crime of bad scansion lol.......stan
thanks mate,
I'm not a closet rhymer, I use all the tools of poetry when and where it feels right.
I think you can see it needs some work at the end.
Jess,
Love the additions. It's not too much!
Especially love:
no pretty poet has ever been
too eloquent to brawl
and several notable angels
have taken the big fall
So rather than extinguish each other
in lightning bolts and iambic insults
they drop the weapons of words and swords,
caress each others prides and wounds
and the new ending too.
Kelsey
PS: Did you mean "ingulge"? I like it as a word creation, whether intended or not. It's the perfect combination of indulge and gorge, in my humble opinion.
oops, forgot to respond.
Thanks Kelsey.
ingulge and a few other typos now tidied up.
Well, well, well!
This indeed caused a little storm in a teacup a couple of years back! Or would that be a moshpit in a mushaira?
I enjoyed this piece - although I felt it went on a little too long, so maybe a little judicious editing towards the end? One thing: I LOVED the reference to the leper's finger. I often feel that leprosy is much under-rated as a subject for versification. In fact, I am so inspired I shall see if I can post a few little louche leprous lines - watch out, The Stream, here comes leprosy!
.
Thank you M. Sweetlove
Yes, I keep meaning to come back to this...
but I've had my fun.