While you're gone I define
my day away from the habitual
fray, where I'm reclined and
uncoiled simmering back from
the boil.
My intuition had me reaching to
this intermission for who is born
to endless scorn, have listened
to you blether, blaspheme pulverised
dreams I'm still inventive but tentatively
so.
The torrent sea within thee
you faltered on my alter that
beckoned self ! heckled off stage.
Your intensity is too much for me
that spitting venom splattered
everything that mattered,
those conjectured lectures
reverberate my hate.
As still I hear you speak
those undertones of solace.
Comments
you never come by
i don't know why,
perhaps coz i'm shy!
perhaps in some dream
may
hi
hi I've just being to your page
sure there's no need to comment
on my poem lol cheers ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,zigs
message well taken
thanks
rgds as usual
hi again
hi yes your right about how you see this one
but as ever it's a theme like any other poem
your quite sharp ,,,,,,,,,cheers for the comment ,,,,,,zigs
Well young Zigs LOL
I'll have you know men are no walk in the park either. Nagging is not exclusive to the female of the species LMAO !!
Seriously Zig this is another great poem from you, I would expect no less.
Love Lou
hi louise
lol i GUESS not lol it's more about the individual
than any thing else, cheers for the comment
your always welcome ,,,,,,zigs x
Zigs
Zigs,
having now seen this up in lights on Neo, I can see the importance of your favourite line in this poem. I won't tell anyone what particular line or words it is...let's see if anybody picks them out!
That said, my favourite stanza is still:
The torrent sea within thee
you faltered on my alter that
beckoned self ! heckled off stage.
I think it is the image of being heckled off stage and how that suits this write of yours.
As always, I love the structure and how your lines run into each other, yet still hold a meaning in their own right. That's a very clever style...please teach me and in return I'll teach you all about choruses...Lol!
This is a particularly clever poem.
regards,
HS
hi dan
yes you know my fav line here and it is as you know my own new fav don't ask
me why, maybe it's the way that line sounds that might be it lol, part of me can see
why you like the lines you pointed out , i'm glad you picked them out cheers,
hood you have touched on something interesting in your comment, how we come
up with the poems we ALL do, we all here on neo have own own favourite poems
how interesting would it be to have someone rip a poem asunder explain it line by line
word by word thought by thought, I'm sure I'm not alone when I say that after writing a
poem we all know what sparked it and how it came to be a finished piece,
I'd love to give it a go for you ,,,,,,,,,,in a e-mail ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,ziggy
Had to
Had to come back and read your poem again.
My favourite stanzas are 3 and 4
Love Lou
hi louise
ah thank you a return is great to see
cheers louise ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,zigs x
Wow!
Dear Ziggy, I really enjoyed this piece of work with its subtle rhymes. You are really something when you get up on that soapbox! This one reads great out loud. I'm going to have to ask Steve to read this one. (He nags me something fierce when I'm not behaving!) favorite lines:
Your intensity is too much for me
that spitting venom splattered
everything that mattered,
those conjectured lectures
reverberate my hate.
love, Cat
hi cat
hello sis, " on my soap box lol that's never being said to me before ' I think'
yes how my efforts sound when spoken is what I always aim for , I am trilled
you said so thank you so much, yes ask Steve to read it cheers, keep safe
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,zigs xx