sewie smalls
sewie smalls
Sep 22, 2017
This poem is part of the contest:

As Autumn Nears 🏆 Winner

(Read More...)

In the spirit of autumn (September Contest)

The street ahead
A kaleidoscope of colors
Beautiful no doubt

Chill air seeped into his bones
Hands nearly frail
coming up to inhale once more

Then came epiphany
It was time for change
He let his ego shed like leaves in autumn

There is nothing like home
And home he returned to.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: We don't have autumn in Nigeria, so it took awhile to write this

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - draft

About the Author

Region, Country: nigeria, NGA

Favorite Poets: rupi kaur

More from this author

Comments

Geezer

this must have been miss-posted and was supposed to be in the contest. Please do, as Lovedly asks and post it in the contest. I can appreciate the work and thought that went into this, as you have never seen a real Autumn. I wonder where your thoughts were going in the second stanza? What is the significance of the line: Coming up to inhale once more? And the word you are looking for is [seeped] not sipped. Work it over a little bit and post in the contest. You never know...
~ Geezer.
.

S

I see you hit the contest tab when you posted this. I'd appreciate it if you'd also put (september contest) next to title so folks can easily see it Is a contest poem. And I can't imagine what it must be like to not have an autumn.......stan

lovedly

participation

In all my life I have never won
yet still play on
outstanding in all games
as a lines man!