Whoa!
You really need some sleep.
Slack jawed and wide-eyed
don't let them take it all,
will you?
Are you privy to ghosts
and goblins
within the walls,
or did your brain just not
cooperate?
Did you forget how to breath?
Or did the night simply,
make its way under your doorstep
trickling down the walls,
encasing everything.
It can sneak up on you like that,
the dark.
set off a brutal alarm for every useless
trinket
traded for with a portion of a life.
Something about that just doesn't sit quite right
with me.
And it doesn't look as though, either,
like it sits that right with you.
With your
red-eye hallucinations,
slight delirium,
in which you find some strange sense of peace.
Breathe.
Comments
This felt like it was wrtten personally to me.
It sure fits.
Very impressive to make a write in the second person work without being preachy.
Onya, mate!
Thanks Jess!
I wrote this piece after not being able to sleep for two days in a row and then having to go to work. The second voice is just me speaking to myself, which probably saved it from coming across as preachy. Sorry to hear that you too suffer from this unwanted aversion to sleep. Any advice that has helped you? Other than that, thanks for the feedback and now I'm working less I should be back up and active on the site.
Nicholas.
My reading
May I post it to Neopoet on Facebook?
https://soundcloud.com/neopoet/over-the-plateau-by-riotface97
Yeah!
Not a problem, would love to have it up there. If possible, I give permission for any future poems to be published on fb.
Thanks,
Nicholas.