Shatter thy ceiling
Escape through the starry night
Drown in dreams within
Jun 18, 2017
Rescued
About This Poem
Last Few Words: Trying out haiku. Trying not to rhyme!
Style/Type: Structured: Eastern
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Haiku.
It is a difficult concept for me.
Pretty good...
first haiku. Keep it up! .
.
Thank you both for commenting
Thank you both for commenting.
It's really hard to cram everything into 17 syllables!
Glad you tried it
before I even suggested it.
Do more.
Even though they are supposed to work individually yoo can assemble them into collections that work both individually and as a whole.
https://www.neopoet.com/node/2669
It's a small frame..
To pack a lot in, with very few well chosen words. Drown in dreams within - very nice, if this is your first foray.
You can have fun with them, in the tech industry, we use them instead of "error page not found" messages on websites, (these are not mine, a friend uses them on his website) like:
The ten thousand things
How long do any persist?
Netscape, too, has gone.
And:
The Web site you seek
cannot be located but
endless others exist
Not even kidding, these come from website, which has to be seen to be believed!
Have fun.
Cheers, and take care.
Chris.