Dennis the Menace

Jul 31, 2017

Who The Hell is Errol Flynn

There's no pain I've experienced, that comes even close to cramp,
Though it lets you know it's coming, just before it sets up camp.
That little twinge, that shaft of pain, announcing that it might,
Is your only chance to straighten things and put up half a fight.

More often, it has got you... and the knife begins to twist,
And although you rub, like making fire, the bastard will persist.
The pain sets in, you reach the floor and stretch to find relief,
But that doesn't change the battle, it's just you and self belief.

So you rub and rub, and rub and rub, and whimper in the pain,
And pray that it will start to ease..., but here it comes again.
So there I'm stood, I'm wracked in pain, and fearing for my life,
When charging comes the cavalry, thank god I've woke the wife.

She nearly knows just what to do, with guidance she homes in,
And though I'm rubbing like a fool, she's there like Errol Flynn!
She takes command, and saves the day, she's such a little hero.
I thank the Lord, she's no regrets, of life with 'cramping weirdo.'

About This Poem

Last Few Words: CRAMP..... ouch - it so hurt that I was moved to write about it.

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: The Highlands Scotland

Favorite Poets: Pam Ayres

Comments

Short of being stabbed, this

Short of being stabbed, this experience holds the biscuit for pain - A little wordy but that's how it comes out. Seems it's things that move me make my fingers tap the keys readily.

Hey Dennis,

It's quite refreshing to read something so left-field of conventional poetry (in terms of subject matter). It was a fun read, and my favourite section was the last stanza and the part about the life with 'cramping weirdo,' had a little chuckle at that. What I might offer, which has been repeatedly told to me (and you may have done it already) is to read the work aloud. A few of the lines do come off just a little jarring, and I think with a few changes to promote a more succinct feel whilst reading, would do well to serve its humour, which I think is a really strong aspect of the work. Overall, however, it was an original, entertaining piece of poetry. Look forward to seeing more of your stuff in the future,

Nicholas.

reply

Thank you for your time and comments Nicolas - I shall be sure to check out all of your conventional right-field non jarring stuff.

Hi Dennis,

Welcome to the site. Your title roped me
in with anticipation and the humor and
fairly perfect rhyme held me to the end.

There were a couple of niggles for me
as well;
//it's just you and self belief// I'm wondering
what that means, it seems forced to me.

//So there I'm stood// ?? Hard for me
to even read that without pausing.

//with guidance she homes in// did you
mean hones?

loved the content and have had the
same exact thing happen to me, my
wife has been my hero in the same
way so I had no problem relating.

A joy to read and thank you for sharing
it with us. The things I've pointed out are
merely suggestions I appreciate the chance
to offer.
If you have any questions regarding the site
you can ask me or any other advocate.

thanks,
Richard

Reply

Thank you for taking the time to drop me a line.

Re. your niggles: 1st - I consider self explanatory 2nd - You are meant to pause 3rd - To "home in" like a missile on a target.

Thank you also for your kind offer of help about the site - stand by.

Best, Dennis

Nice poem

Enjoyed the read. I too love the rhyming

Polite Reply

Hello Barbara,
I'm delighted that you liked my poem and particularly the rhyming as I do.