I hate not being able to sleep
I really can't help but to weep
So much shit in my mind tonight
Hope everything will be alright.
Wishing my life was perfect
She has no reason to suspect
Idolizing a girl that I'll never get
Wish my mind could just reset.
Thinking of that beautiful hair,
That beautiful smile
Damm, you have such an artistic style.
I'm so scared of losing you
I know that we're just friends
Will this be how it ends?
I don't know
I don't know
I don't know
I just don't fucking know.
I mean I know I just intend
To give you my heart
I wish we could restart
I don't only want to be your friend
Every-time we speak
Every single debate
The only thing you restate:
You give me a feeling that no one can recreate
You know that I love you
There's no doubt about that
But you don't know how I'm in love with you
And It's a plus that you're so beautiful to look at.
But days pass by and we just don't talk
We don't show an interest when we're apart
You and me, let's just take a walk
And just read this, I know that you're super smart.
Now it's 6 am
It's time to go to school
I just wish I could show you this
And have assured that in a worse case scenario
that nothing would change.
Comments
Hi
Poetry from the heart
I like how you crafted your thoughts in your poem.
Your poem
I respect the popularity and importance rap is having in our times, and I suspect will continue for some time. As a poetic style, it has some commonality- it is often conversational, a train of thought, direct in meaning, often about relationships common to all love poem lyrics. I go often to open mics and see and hear the young generation discussing the intricacies of relationships. It is a type of poetry. It's a good thing, all creativity is good.
What we hope you will get from this workshop is a broad idea of the big world of poetry, and the various things you can do to make your work as original and unique as it can be. We will consider the all important metaphor, such as comparing her to something, your feeling to a "like" or "as". That is the first step you must consider to increase the magic of your words and images.
My suggestion, and that is why you have published here, for suggestion: Try to write a poem in free verse, without rhyme. about anything really, and consider each idea as an image. Thinking of that beautiful hair..what makes it beautiful? - the smell, the feel..? What does it feel like..describe!
that is poetry.
Thank you very much for your
Thank you very much for your feedback! It means the world to me that you took the time to read my work! I will be uploading some on different topics and I would be supper grateful if you could check them out!
I'm so scared of losing you
friend
when I was your age
I lost hold of a dozen
I wanted just one
then one who did not want me
was forced to grab me
well as u r a
psy kay artist
you say
read me
you wont need another one
to learn from
and get your PhD Or Dr of Madicine
but avoid
shit and fuck
not poetic words
rap or slap may be
okay also verbally
just a word of welcome from me
known as LOVEDLY
the more guys you read
the lessor time you will have
to read comments on yours
well now come in
and note
MADICiNE
is not a typo
Thanks for the adivice! I
Thanks for the adivice! I personally like using profanity in my poems because i write when I'm going through just difficult things. I like to resort to words like fuck and shit because they perfectly describe the feelings I was going through when I wrote this. The heartbreak I had. But I still will expand my horizons and start writing without profanity. Thank you so much for your time!
Listen to Eumolpus, mate, he's the best
This is good wordcrafting, listen, you can hear it,
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0znCo7txTdO
but it could be more.
That's one of the things poetry is- compression of meaning. There could be more to this.
And use whatever fucking words you like
Profanity is a poetic privilege and shit on any cunt who says otherwise.