Insidiously, as joy tinged with salt,
emphasizing my primacy like a
xenotrop, we met one day, Remember?
I was filled with awe that even you could
see the majesty and authority
that permeates me from whiskers to tail.
We took those first few hours to establish
our mutual understanding that all
right thinking creatures would acknowledge the
supremacy of my thoughts and actions.
How your smile lit up your abode that day;
it was inspiring how quickly you
proved you wanted to be worthy of me.
Metaphysically, it was comforting.
even while the world abused your psyche,
maligning your goals, dreams, and the absent
enjoyments of an unexamined life,
our shared perspective that, truly, you
will cater to my every whim, was right.
Comments
Hello!
It IS a fun write and the whiskers to tail thing the only hint the protagonist was not Obama lol. Now a few suggestions. I'd move "Xenotrop to the end of preceding line, Just seems to read better there. Now there's the starting each line with a capitol. For me it jars on train of thought as badly as a misplaced period. Well that's about it. Enjoyed the read......stan
The capitals
Yep, missed that.
As for Xenotrop, I wouldn't use it at all had I not needed a word beginning with X. Why I just didn't choose another word has its foundation in my laziness and stubbornness.
Brilliant word xenotrop,
an apt metaphor for the strange symbiosis we have with cats. Though if you don't like it they are a rather xenophobic species, they mostly merely tolerate us.
Loved the read.
I won't pick on the meter, you know I've always felt it is not your strong point anyway.
What I did was subject it to the harshest test for any acrostic. Copied it into Word, removed all formatting and read it as prose. And guess what? It works brilliantly.
Hear for yourself-
https://soundcloud.com/neopoet/misunderstanding-ones-endless-wisdom
May I post it to our Neopoet Facebook page?
My only slight crit is that I find it hard imagine that anything any human did could fill a feline with awe.
Thanks, and yes, on several counts
Firstly, thank you for the comments and you are correct, classic meter is not my strong point.
Secondly, yes, with my pleasure, post it to the Neopoet FB page.
Lastly, it is true, cats tolerate us because, while we are poor hunters, we are adequate servants.
this is the first one of yours I have read ever
a freestyle poet since birth
decades ago
it's been my pleasure
to compose free style
at leisure
if you permit
I will do this one for you
just as an experimentation
mind Sir,
will you
Fantastic, last MEOW
Cats always get the last word. If you wanted to be a little less strict with insidiously, then:
Insidiously, as joy tinged with salt,
Insidiously, as joy is tinged with salt,
That's it. Otherwise brilliant. And cats, very true don't need to worry about Socrates when they are "playing the cello" as Bill Bailey terms it.
Thanks.
Chris.
Hi,
I swear it seems you've taken my
cat and put her to page.
enjoyed this very much.
Thank you Van and Moon
Your comments are greatly appreciated.
This piece falls into the category of a writing exercise. Truth be told, I try to do most of my writing in that vein so as to be more open to suggestions and critique.