brittle light
brittle light
Jul 22, 2017

My Walk In The Woods

I took, what I thought would be,
a pleasant and leisurely walk with the trees.

As it turned out:

the air was thick and sticky.
There were, everywhere,
enormous dive bombing bugs,
feasting
with exuberance and voracity.

Some mysterious scurrying
was unsettling my soul,
and those vicious
ubiquitous vines;
clingy as a velcro 2.0

All this induced a bit of claustrophobia.
It smelled good though;
kind of musty
like an old root cellar.

Alas,
five strides in
and I was lost.
Not panicky lost
but lost just the same,
so I looked for mossy trees.
(Apparently, they know direction)
but the more I looked
the loster I seemed

as the light began its creep
into boogy-man night,
(bolstered by screeches
from un-godly creatures)
I needed a plan
when I heard a hoot; then
in a flash of brilliance
I knew what to do.

I began to howl
louder and prouder,
"if you try scaring me
I'll scare you even harder"

so, for hours I wailed
devil-lent sermons,
and belted out tunes
like Satchmo and Merman.

the woods were disturbed;
the neighborhood as well.
I was after all, just
...five strides into hell.

the wardens arrived,
and thinking I was drunk
they threw me in the tank

....Thanks....

rustic life,
so debunked.

About This Poem

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Region, Country: upstate New York USA, USA

More from this author

Comments

S

This is a great poem!
5 strides in can leave you in no man's land!
Bugger that the authorities didn't understand hey!

S

Sounds like you dared to enter a South Carolina thicket in the middle of summer. Residents here know better than dare the tics, chiggers, mosquitos, gnats, no seeums, snakes and even the lizard man lol.......stan

brittle light

I ain't a'scared a no lizard man!
My Ethel Merman impression will scare the hell out of anything.

thanks,

Geezer

It makes a country-at-heart boy chuckle and puts me in mind of me in a big building. I can always find my way when I am outside, but I get lost in a building! I only go to the health-clinic or my pulmonologist every 6 mos. so the directions to their offices has a chance to leak out of my brain before the next appointment. I hear the receptionists and/or nurses laughing and sometimes they just point and say that way Guy. Lol. Great story and poem. I particularly liked the little asides, they really made the whole thing that much funnier. ~ Gee.
.

Geezer

I could do that if I woke up in a strange bed, but that's not going to happen these days, since I sleep in a recliner now. ~ Gee.
.

mand

mand

7 years 9 months ago

Brilliant! :) ".. the light began its creep into boogy-man night.." I definitely would have been panicky lost and I really like the word "loster" I would soo loved to have been a fly on the wall "tree" in this case - the vision of you howling for hours on end..and the finally of you being thrown in the tank... was an insult to injury that was cruelly funny. :) Ahh those cherished memories!

I really enjoyed reading this - thank you for sharing! :)

Love Mand xxxx

brittle light

I'm glad you enjoyed this wacky misadventure.
it's of course, not entirely true, but is the paranoid imaginings, (while on a less terrible trek) of the potential for this scenario to actually happen.( even that explanation is not entirely true!)

I say, "never believe what writers say...especially poets" They are always prone to hyperbole!
'tis better to err on the side of skepticism.(but enjoy reading anyway)

thanks again,

mand

I did wonder - but will take your advice and assume poetic license in future. Still brilliant story / half truth, made me smile! Thanks for sharing. :)

Love Mand xx