Creative Space

Yep, it's got a ways to go. A little something I do with my own work when I am questioning its prosodic value is to drop the formatting, like this-

I found that playlist, the Productive Morning playlist on Spotify. I wonder if the name would help me get in the zone? That writing zone. Do I want the bed or the couch.......the desk? Maybe the floor? And I can't forget the coffee. That rich, warm taste sliding down my tongue, making my taste buds jump with excitement, and sending my body into a state of shock. The bed, yep! Music, check. Coffee, check. Grabbing my notebook and pen off the nightstand, and propping my laptop up on the bed, The word "Love" instantly pops into my head, like a poptart in the toaster. And a feeling of butterflies in my stomach soon follows, as it does most of the time.

It's got energy and I dig the L-word wall, definitely something to work with but really needs some prosodic devices to make it fly. Some assonance and consonance could give it a jump without being too obvious. I'm not really buying the coffee sensations and please lose the butterflies, you can find something more original than that.

I'll be really interested to see how this comes along, it's got heaps of potential.

Assonance uses similar sounding vowels and consonance consonants. It can be very powerful because your reader doesn't necessarily notice it specifically, as we do with rhymes. Not just the similarity of sounds but the tone or feeling of them. A quick Google search turns up heaps, this is a good one from Carl Sandburg's in Early Moon, hear how the long “o” sounds old or mysterious.

“Poetry is old, ancient, goes back far. It is among the oldest of living things. So old it is that no man knows how and why the first poems came.”
http://examples.yourdictionary.com/assonance-examples.html
(Actually, I know, I'll tell you about it some time)

It can set every aspect of the poem with the reader not even being consciously aware of the effect. Short vowels pick up the tempo, 'i' sounds feel like a higher pitch, younger, than 'a' sounds. 'e' sounds are the fastest. The toolbox is immense.

Similarly with consonants. The whispery slithery sighs of a snake. The deep rumbling roars of marauding lions. Have fun with it.

Love the Angelou quote. Exactly how I feel about it. I always read my work aloud, often record it so I can hear without my head getting in the way [grins].

I think Wierdelf has really nailed it.I would also consider the magic of word imagery. Your images are conversational, prosaic; such as "that rich warm taste" - you need to struggle with it, find a way to say that in a way that belongs to you and your imagination. As for the loss of the muse, check out my poem on this site, Midnight Collapse, you can find in my profile. For a comparison on the same theme.

Also I would love to see the list of your favorite poets increase. No artist, composer, or poet should not be a student of the art, and admirer of many past and present contemporaries. If you want a list of several I personally recommend, it would be my pleasure! Reading poetry makes every poet become more artist, creative, and individual in their work.

All that Eumolpus said.