scribbler
Jul 04, 2017

INTIMATE

There across the street from me
a window, curtains seldom closed
living room displayed for all to see
all within fully exposed.

An old couple living their lives there.
They have company...maybe once a week.
Her head is white, his almost bare.
Though no voyeur I sometimes peek.

Their T.V. by chance faces the street,
their chairs and sofa in plain view
through that picture window clean and neat
showing all, in that room, they might do.

Most evenings the T.V. is on
wife and husband in their favorite chair
watching shows maybe remarking upon
the programs at which they both stare.

But tonight the screen is solid black
yet they still sit and even smile
exchanging glances forth and back,
feet and fingers tapping all the while.

I deduce their stereo is playing
with vinyl records from long ago
when you could still tell what singers were saying
in verses all us old folks know.

Then he arises holding out his hand.
She smiles and rises to her feet
old hips barely swaying to the band.
They embrace and dance to a slow beat.

I blink then turn my gaze away
as I feel a blush spread over me
then I close my curtains and turn away.
Some things are far too intimate to see.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: South Carolina, United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Frost

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Comments

Timbo

Timbo

7 years 9 months ago

lovely observation of life Scribbler, well put. Best wishes Tim

S

long time no see lol. Thanks for dropping by and leaving such kind comment......stan

Geezer

this one, on a level that exceeds the usual pleasure that I get from reading one of your poems.
It takes a person that has lived a lot of life to be aware of the significance of the little vignette that plays out here. I love the silence that lends an air of privacy and your reaction to the intimacy of the scene. Great stuff! ~ Gee.
.

S

Sometimes I pass along something other than observations of nature just to show I Am capable of doing so lol. And you're right about how the little things become more precious as the years add up. Thanks for the visit and I'm pleased you like this...........stan

jane210660

A lovely cameo.
Doesn't feel voyeuristic, until they start dancing......
I enjoyed this, don't want to crit.
Jx

weirdelf

he was very, very good.

A lovely, gentle insight into intimacy.
You should probably write a text on the effective breaking of prosodic 'rules'. No crit.

S

Thank you. Writing on a subject like this can be difficult. Too easy to be either trite or too obscure in message. nice to know I did well this time lol. Before writing any text on breaking rule I need to learn those rule a bit better .........stan

S

Always good to hear from a new member. I'm pleased you enjoyed this one and you are welcome to send me a private message any time you want. Might take a while for me to answer it lol. If you need help navigating site just ask me or any other member and welcome to neopoet.........stan