Walk about so do we go
Stay on the road all dark night
Lie down come break of dawn sir
Before the heat of daylight
May 04, 2017
Walkabout... Trochee / Wes' Meter Workshop
About This Poem
Last Few Words: I think I got it right.
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Not quite Gee
At least not to my ear....
WALK a - | BOUT so | DO we | GO
STAY on | the ROAD | all DARK | NIGHT
lie DOWN | come BREAK | of DAWN | sir
be - FORE | the HEAT | of DAY -| light
Love judy
xxx
.
How about this?...
Walk about so do we go now
Stay on road in dark of night-time
Down to sleep for light of day sir
Wake to walk some miles more
.
Great
WALK a - | BOUT so | DO we | GO now
STAY on | ROAD in | DARK of | NIGHT - time
DOWN to | SLEEP for | LIGHT of | DAY sir
WAKE to | WALK SOME | MILES MORE
except for the last verse, where my ear hears spondee at those last two feet
Also, the last verse is in trimeter
It doesn't affect the poem, but I think we were asked for a quatrain of tetrameter
Lol - i didn't follow the instructions either...
Had to use 6 verses for my anapaest, as I couldn't fit it all into 4
GB Shaw is probably turning in his grave....
Anyways Gee.... you got it, mostly
Love judy
xxx
.
Thanks...
I get it. Guess I should do as Jess says and go read, read, read!
Hmm.
Judy is right. It doesn't quite work out. I particularly don't like the second verse. Listen to yourself. As Keats said... poetry should be written naturally or not at all. It must be able to be "spoken" as though it were NOT poetry.
My readings mate.
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1J1NFC0NA04
Trochee and Dactylic are flowing meters because the unstressed last syllables lead you on the the next foot whereas Iambic and Anapest create a more... imperative rhythm, that stressed last foot emphasising rhyme and structure.
You're right, you really need to read it to get the ear for it.