The Summer sun's sheen,
Spring's tree leaves, a green so bold,
Winter's icicles, smooth and cold,
The decoration of Fall's stunning Halloween
Jun 30, 2017
beryl emerald (Imagery workshop)
About This Poem
Last Few Words: Still haven't done the first assignment. Good job me. [sarcasm] I'm not sure if there is much imagery in this. Working on it.
Review Request Direction:
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Hi there Rory
Lovely to see you.
I think your stanza is chock full of imagery. Practically every word conjures up amazing images, both direct and indirect.
I tend to overthink things, then I get bogged down. Don't overthink, imho, you've pulled a blinder - as they say.
Jxx
Hello!
Great to see you too.
Thank you! I, personally, thought it was a little cheesy.
Lol
I didn't say it wasn't cheesy haha.
But the imagery abounds.
Grins
Jx
hello!
I'm assuming you intended some indirect or inferred imagery to be in this. There's imagery aplenty and that's the problem lol. In indirect imagery you want to leave something for the reader to imagine. So an easy fix would be :
The Summer sun,
Spring's tree leaves,,
Winter's icicles,,
Fall's stunning Halloween
I know this eliminates the rhyme but you can rework it to get that back. Remember the words not spoken are the indirect imagery..........stan PS now get that 1st exercise done lol
Indirect imagery.
The stone awaits.
Pickaxe puzzle.
Where to look.
Men sweat and die.