Contort your form,
into a spineful s t r e t c h
feel yourself, transmuted, up and
chording out of conformity to sing..
Now your body sways in its music
of majestically deranged sequences,
as it curls into something utterly
more gradually graceful, a thing
imagine, if time affords, that you
as dancer could be: the body of work
that led you here, as life would go,
about this human business of being;
Indifferent to the memory of my bodywork
growing by degrees, slower in its clock.
You're unaware I, sit high in the balcony,
with all your old lovers, dreaming,
know this: you were the miracle that tipped
in one observed universe, toe immersed,
and we throw roses upon the stage
to honour your crystal feet;
in this world starved of delicacy,
scarce spoken, rarely uttered, a phrase:
You were loved, though in another world,
where we had an ideal of love, in youth,
which grew in age to something new.
a different bloom, another page,
has been proofed, and a certain truth
has fled from this wanting world,
bear with us, for this is sooth,
in searching, salving memory, forgets,
You’re now in the rear view mirror,
as we drive from this fading pirouette.
Comments
Just wanted...
to let you know that I read and enjoyed this work. I like the "spineful stretch". ~ Gee.
.
Thanks geezer, feel free to
Stretch and add, re-draft as said in the comments- this one is an open (waiting) window.
Thanks for checking out.
Chris.
The s t r e t c h
works. We loved huh? Do we really know what that means?
I do so hope you continue on with the draft.
Well, that's the question Wes..
And, yes I will keep coming back to this one, its the itch I can't scratch.
I don't know if Tennyson's consoling, and oft quoted: "Tis better to have loved and lost, Than never to have loved at all" does indeed console or assist in the task, the same of which can be said of any number of poems. I'm more offering a way in, of exploring this theme - hopefully, and as mentioned in notes, will gladly collaborate with others to find some semblance of an answer! Pah, probably not.
We had an ideal of love, in youth, which grew in age to something new.
Cheers.
Chris.
about this human business of being
As I start reading it sounds like we are in a Yoga class, but then i am introduced to this person as a dancer who you apparently had a thing with when you were young or younger, and then...who can bring back that splendor in the grass?
Here's my very fast take to ad to your poem:
Now your body sways to its music
In prearranged sequences
Indifferent to the memory of my body
Which grows clumsy within its clock,
Unaware I sit high in the balcony
With all your other tribute lovers
Throwing roses upon the stage
For your crystal vases.
Anyway, that's one take away. BTW, I'm not crazy about the title, feels to me like at a bank or post office, or worse, airline office. not sure I get your reference there.
(If you totally reject my effort, no problemo! Just trying to fill in the blanks, once you had a dancer lover, now doing her thing in "this human business of being"- great line!)
That's good start...
And no, we weren't talking yoga, literally watching a dancer. The title may be have been lost in translation - more of English window of desperation, holding on. But it doesn't sit well, so it's going to get an edit, incorporating your changes.
Thanks!
Chris.
good stuff
I very much enjoyed being part of this process, and think this poem is now a cool read. She has this feel of a modern Isadora Duncan. The way you inserted my ramblings is great.
The last line is a tongue twister for me. Try it without "fading" ..I need to pause and get my mouth out of the "ing" position at the top of the palette to the puckered lips of "p" for pirouetting memory,
a very good way to end the poem.
(Could just me me due to the massive dental work I'm doing, o praise be unto the gods I have a brother-in-law dentist).
Might consider linking the title to dance, as in Rear Window Pas de Deux.
Cheers!
The dancer upstairs, she spins..
And swirls and pliés out of control - in some harmonious way - we hope. I loved your little interventions, and tweaking and playing around with them. Absolutely open to new ideas/re-writes if you have time - otherwise, we can let her rest. I must confess my ignorance to that particular art form - but it's been interesting finding out more, reading for the sake of this, which is part of the fantastic, expansive process of auto didactic wonder that poetry gives us 'opsimaths' - you keep digging, or prancing in this case.
Goooo - sorry to hear about your teeth - I can't stand the Dentists chair, I hear the echoes of Marathon Man...'is it safe' :) - I'm sure your brother is a lot less sinister..
Thanks Eumo,
As ever grateful, to a real academic, we the truly unschooled, are glad to learn.
Cheers.
Chris.
good stuff
Yes have had a lot of new things to consider from the site.
I have to do a lot of work, implants, bridges etc...and in the USA that is unbelievably expensive. Just the parts are expensive, but having a family member is saving me over $50,000. Although my problem is due to both genetics and some radiation for a small lip cancer, all I can say is...Brush your teeth!
I'm working on a few things, and hope you are too
Cheers
Wow..fifty big ones...so much..
for universal healthcare. All I can say to that is...well it's a truly insane situation! I grew up in England, with staunch left winger/union member fully paid up Labour party (not Blair's neocon new labour) the real deal..members. The kind of parents, that drove me down to rallies in London in support of the nurses, firemen, - or for the Greenham common women, with a huge campaign for nuclear disarmament symbol bolted to the top of the car, people waving at every bridge down the A1 M1 into London. To say the least the National Health Service (NHS) was a bit of a holy cow..every time the Tories tried to privatise it, out would come the placards..That kind of civil disobedience and protest is a thing of the past over there now..the grass roots support of the young for a free and fair education system, healthcare system and opportunities for all to attend university is now the common longing parlance of the younger generation - strangely at odds with the old "Left wingers" who now view everything that could be done with people power- should be viewed with scepticism .
Not much to ask is it? The right for all to good health, eyes, teeth, hope! They continue to dream, so do I -there you go..
Sorry for getting off track. I hope your new work is progressing, I do indeed have a very organic and growing number of projects..more words will follow.
Shall the dancer draw in her arms, lower her head and be greeted with the curtain now..?
Take care.
(and thanks for the help)
Chris.
PS and memories of carrying the complete works of Marx and Lenin, in the cold at the Edinburgh festival, book festival - still haunt my arms to this day..!
The dialectic of history
Sadly Hegel was right. One step back, 2 steps forward. We here in the USA took a major step back! Half the country knows it, the other half doesn't see that they support the forces which seek to bury them. Bless the idealism of the old left, and the internet will bring a new generation of them. They will take to the streets in protest. It will be called the Selfie Protest Movement.
As far as teeth- never been much on the public's agenda. You don't need them to live, they help if you like to smile and eat your food somewhat chewed. Advanced dental is so expensive! The average cost of a just crown is $1000-1500. That a lot for many people!
Yes, I think the lady can take her bows. I was looking at the photo gallery of Duncan on the google,
she is the prototype of dancers. What a collection! There was once a great film about her with Vanessa Redgrave, 1968, a really good one. I couldn't help but think of her in your poem. Or this well known gem from Yeats:
Labour is blossoming or dancing where
The body is not bruised to pleasure soul.
Nor beauty born out of its own despair,
Nor blear-eyed wisdom out of midnight oil.
O chestnut-tree, great-rooted blossomer,
Are you the leaf, the blossom or the bole?
O body swayed to music, O brightening glance,
How can we know the dancer from the dance?
The revolution will not be televised..
And your right, it will be to the exalted floor of Facebook they look, not up - and all who stand at the alter of the treadmill, in temple gyms across the globe - the worship of self - does the revolution end there? With all media in the hands of the few, the faux revolutions, will never do much, perhaps until people's backs are at the genuine wall, not just the one they flip through glibly on social media. Ah well, fix the world another day, and another day.
And thank you for sharing Yeats - always good to read him, I always think of 'When you are old' or Down by the Sally Gardens' - first poem I ever learned to recite, long time ago.
You inspired me by the way, I picked up a copy of french Comparative poetry today, Rimbaud etc. - going to try and find that rue again.
I've overdosed on words this week - Ulysses again, for the umpteenth time, get to 'Oxen of the sun' then skip to Molly's soliloquy ..the book from which we can never escape eh? Bloomsday was celebrated in Irish pubs down here in Hobart - albeit more mutely than in previous years....who reads now? They're all on the phone taking endless selfies!
Good luck with the chompers!
Cheers,
Chris.
Just a courtesy..
Finalizing this piece now..so much chin scratching, but will be done tonight. Any additions/suggestions, make 'em known.
Cheers.
Chris.