One Last Time

The day I left all I wanted was to
hug you. Hug you and remember
our last embrace, and I know that
this might be
the last time I see you.

Last time I see you and you're not in a picture,
last time I hear your voice and its not in a voice mail,
last time I breath the same air as you,
last time the idea of always has an expiration date.
Last time I will live with you before you're on the run
Last time I have to say goodbye because I cant handle leaving you again after this.

You are a dangerous explosion of things
like dropping gasoline on the sun.
You realize that laws are for suckers,
And you would rather run and live without them,
than be grounded because sometimes
being a little unsteady shows you how to live
one last time.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: i wrote this about a guy that i really love and wanted to share my love for him through a poem with you.

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: yuma az

Favorite Poets: Neil Hilborn

Comments

I've noticed something.

You have not marked whether you want the truth on your poetry or not. Do you?
No matter.
The imagery here is good, but I notice also that your poetry is all of one subject. I would like to see you write something out of your comfort zone. Something truly different.
Could you show us that? Something very different.

Hello

i am pleased to see you use stanza breaks. Too many who write free verse don't. I liked the message of any parting perhaps being the last.......stan